Peacocks on Leashes: The Adventures of a Middle Model

Less Days at the Office

2012-01-04T16:55:00.000-08:00

Guest post from: Mohamed Simon

Whoever said that working from home was easy was certainly right! My company is based out of Beverly Hills, and the traffic around here is horrible. California has such a problem with commuting because of all of the people who live here. Because of this, a lot of state legislation is asking companies to let their employees work from home. At first, this was met with a lot of grumbling, but only by the bosses! Most of us were sitting around hoping that this would work out for us. My company ended up finding a great internet deal (check out clear wireless internet Beverly Hills), and then everyone was told that they were to come in three days a week and work from home the other two. This has actually increased productivity, and saved the company on bill payments! It looks like the government has done something right for once! I’m certainly enjoying not having to sit in traffic every single day- and I’m enjoying even more the days that I can sleep in and eat a good breakfast!

Dogs

2011-11-08T09:59:00.000-08:00

Guest post written by Rolf Tate

We recently logged onto http://www.satellitestarinternet.com/hughes-net/mississippi/g/greenville/ and decided to get satellite internet. I have really enjoyed using it because I am trying to find exactly what type of new puppy to get my kids. I have said “NO” to a dog for years, just because I knew that I would be the one who would be taking care of the pup. I think that it is finally time that my kids had a dog. I had a dog growing up that I absolutely loved. We we lost her, I really had a hard time, I think that it part of the reason that I didn’t want to get a dog too. I have decided on a smaller breed, but I don’t want a “yappy” dog . I want a dog that can run and play with the kids, but is also comfortable relaxing in the house. I really like beagles for their size and playfulness, but a lot of them are baaaaddd and do a lot of howling. Another dog that I am considering getting the kids is a Boykin Spaniel. I think that they are so pretty. I really like their size too. I have heard that they are bad puppies. I still need to do some more research.

Getting Ready for Studying Abroad in Paris

2011-10-06T10:47:00.001-07:00

Guest post written by Ellen Black

I'm not really sure what made me fall in love with the idea, but since I was a little girl I thought that it would be a really great opportunity to go to Paris. I've read all kinds of books, seen all kinds of movies about it and have even taken French in school with the hope of going to France one day and putting it to good use. Well, I'm so excited that next semester I'm actually going to go study abroad there!

I've looked through all kinds of websites about what to go and visit in France. While I was looking through some of those sites about a week ago, I ran across some information on internet packages. After I looked through them I found some more information here and switched over my apartment service to it.

I'm a little worried because I haven't met any of the people I'll be living with in Paris, but I'm supposed to meet them soon. I'm sure that they'll be as adventurous as I am in playing tourist and exploring the city.

September 11th....I'll never forget....

2011-09-11T09:43:00.001-07:00

A decade ago on this very day of September 11th, I was blissfully unaware of what was happening in the world. I was on a flight headed to Seoul, Korea to fulfill a 3 month modeling contract. Once I landed, I was picked up by my manager and taken to the apartment I would share with him and another model, Phillipe, who was from France. We had a nice, traditional Korean meal that night then I went to bed.

The next morning when I woke up I could hear the TV on in the living room. I thought nothing of it, went to shower, organized my new room and lackadaisically made it out to greet my flatmates. The minute I walked into the living room I noticed what looked to be footage of the Twin Towers with smoke billowing out from them. The news coverage was in Korean, I had no idea what to make of it...to be honest, I assumed it was a clip from a film, or some hoax, just not the actual Twin Towers being attacked & destroyed. My manager was looking at me with his eyes and mouth wide open. At this point Phillipe walked out of his room and also stared at the TV confusedly. I started asking my manager what was going on and he frantically started changing channels until he found the BBC. We sat in silence for what seemed like hours watching and listening. My skin was crawling, my heart was in my stomach, and yet I could still not fully wrap my brain around this being real. Everything that happened the rest of that day seemed like slow motion to me....I remember going to the phone and trying to call my family in LA and my boyfriend in Portland....and I wasn't able to get through to anyone. Phone lines were busy. I remember emailing my friends living in NY at the time. I remember just being stunned.

Over the course of the next few days I was able to get through to family and friends and heard that everyone I knew in NY was safe. I heard about how somber the mood was on all of the streets of every city in the US. Yet there seemed to be a new found sense of camaraderie and patriotism that arose from this devastation. I felt terrible for being so far away from my country during a time like this.

After fulfilling the jobs I had booked prior to arriving, I made the decision along with my North American manager, that it would be best and safest for me to go home early. After 2 weeks in Seoul I went home...I remember seeing armed guards not only in the airport in Seoul but also even in Portland which before this time was unthinkable. I arrived back to an America where everyone had a US flag on their car...something that in my lifetime I had never seen before. We were UNITED.

A year later I was in NY for a booking and went to Ground Zero. The energy surrounding the place was heavy. The pictures, candles and flowers on the fence around the church right by gripped my heart and brought tears to my eyes. So many people lost...fathers, mothers. children, grandparents....Tragic does not begin to describe this....To this day it is difficult to wrap my brain around what happened.

I will never forget the devastation of September 11th. I won't forget where I was, what it felt like to hear the news, and never will I forget the lives lost on that darkest day in our history. I pray none of us ever do.

Name Droppings....Better Than Bird Droppings?

2011-07-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

I'm not a fan of name dropping...it induces in me a irresistible desire to roll my eyes and walk away from the name dropper as quickly as my wee feet can carry me....However, I just realized the other day that I have forgotten many of the *ahem* well known people I spent time with during my days of Peacocks on Leashes.

My drop dead stunning cousin, Christie, was in town recently after touring with Disney/Pixar working PR for the Cars 2 movie. My kids, husband and I had a blast showing her around town and hearing about the movie, her work and seeing pictures from behind the scenes. At lunch she asked me who some of the famous people were that I had met, partied with, conversed with or just graced with my presence (bahahahaaaaa!) and I sat there over my stuffed Portobello mushroom drawing a blank...so...in case Alzheimer's hits me a little prematurely, I've decided to write this list down for posterity.

Here goes:

P.Diddy (on a yacht in Monte Carlo and at his house in Miami)
Naomi Campbell (Monte Carlo)
Tyson Beckford (Miami)
Ice Cube (Miami)
Sugar Hill Gang (Miami)
Emelio Estevez (LA)
Prince Albert of Monaco (Monte Carlo)
Princess Victoria of Sweden (Monte Carlo)
Karolina Kurkova (Miami)
Art Alexakis (Portland)
Stephen Dorff (Miami)
Salt & Peppa ( Miami)
Billy Corgan (Miami)
two of the Backstreet Boys (can't remember their names...lol) ( Milan)
Liam Neeson (Milan)
Julia Stiles (Milan)
Tony Hawk (Miami)
Lenny Kravitz (Miami)
Stephen Baldwin (Miami)
Steven Seagal (Miami)
Robin Leach ( Miami)
Eva Longoria (Portland)
Justin Timberlake (Tokyo)
Coco Lee (Taipei)
Carson Daley (Miami)
Ed Kowalczyk and Chad Gracey of the band LIVE (Miami & Portland)
Pauly Shore (Miami)
Angelina Jolie (did a student film with her in high school in LA WAAAAAAY back)
Chad Allen (LA)
Steve Allen (LA)
LeBron James (Portland)
The Dandy Warhols (Portland)
The Counting Crows (Milan)
Liz Phair (LA)
Lil Bow Wow (LA)
Lil Kim (Miami)
Enrique Iglesias (Miami)
Julio Iglesias, Jr. (Miami)
Rod Stewart (Miami)
Sting (Miami)
Kid Rock (Miami)
Rachel Hunter (Miami)
May Andersen (Miami)

OMG, I know there are many, many more...but here I go...losing those memories faster than I'm harvesting gray hairs! I'll be sure to add to the list as I think of more....and if any of my friends reading this remember any please let me know who I'm missing! ;)

Now back to cooking mac and cheese for the ragamuffins....

Oh Home Sweet Secure Home

2011-06-03T19:29:00.000-07:00

Since I'm no longer on the road, I love keeping up my friends who are so that I can live by them vicariously. This is why I am addicted to Facebook, ahem, yep...I am one of "those". ;) I guess I could have worse addictions...actually I know I could, so Facebook and my reality shows via Localtv-Satellite.com are just a little source of sanity in what has turned into a pretty mundane lifestyle compared to Leashing Peacocks. LOL!

So, anyways, where was I going with this? Ah yes...on Facebook yesterday I was reading about a friend who was having issues with disappearing items from her models' apartment. Apparently one of her roomies was making off with everything from food items, to cosmetics and even a bra. A bra? Ugh! Reminds me of my BFF's roommate in Milan who would take her underwear from the drying rack, use them and them leave them balled up all over the apartment floors when she was done with them. Like I've said before, pretty don't mean clean...or sane.

I really lucked out that in all the years I traveled I only had one item ever go missing. It was my favorite pair of workout shorts (by Everlast and they were so darned cute!) that I know one of my Brazilian flatmates in Hong Kong made off with...sigh....I bet her ass looked better in it than mine anyways. =P

What I think I take for granted now is that I live in my own space..well, I share it with a husband and two kids, but you get what I mean. No one can just walk off with my stuff and by installing a home security anaconda that will virtually hunt down and swallow a burglar whole (ok, maybe not really, but that would be pretty funny) I feel extra comfortable with leaving my stuff out. It's hard to believe that there was a point in my life where it was normal to not unpack for months at a time because of all the stories you'd hear of other models stealing stuff. Like, I said, I was lucky, but I kept my stuff in my suitcase and clearly marked. Nice to not have to do that anymore...although maybe that was just a tiny little price to pay for a very wonderful time in my life. And maybe I wouldn't mind having to do that again....for a few days. =)

Getting In On the March Madness Bracket Craze

2011-05-19T12:19:00.000-07:00

Guest post written by Roy Stinson

For years now I've refused to fill out a bracket for the men's basketball tournament during March Madness. But, I just couldn't resist any longer. I just bit the bullet and went ahead and filled one out this year. I knew that I would probably regret filling it out and dealing with all the trash talk again, but I did it anyway.

My friends are really intense about trash talking during the tournament over bracket picks. So when I decided to fill out a bracket this year, I decided to do it right. I did a lot of research before I submitted my online bracket and while I ! was doing that I saw some info on TXU Energy. I checked it out and after that I decided that I would sign up for a new electricity plan that I found in that info.

I'm really enjoying this March Madness 2011 tournament and actually my bracket is performing pretty well so far. So I haven't had to put up with too much trash talking so far.

Bloggity Blog Blog

2011-05-19T12:17:00.000-07:00

Just a little heads up....once in a while you'll see a completely random blog post on here, but never fear! I have not been hacked! LOL! I do write sponsored posts for select clients on my blogs here and there. Momma likes the extra pocket change. ;)

Ok, back to business.

xoxo

Changing Pace

2011-05-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, that's it....I just can't seem to stay chronological anymore with this travel shite. I'll be adding in some of my last journal entries, perhaps some more pictures of raging insouciance and hot (hahaha) fashions and then I'll be turning this blog into a current day view into my life as a model with some random posts where I "look back" with certain bouts of melancholy and deep sighs at what my life as a model once was....on the road.....

So keep checking back in for a new & improved Peacocks on Leashes...this new format will have me posting far more regularly. Woot woot! =)

Oh the Insouciance of It All (aka Obese Prostitutes in Milan)

2011-03-09T20:22:00.000-08:00

Oh...this little picture comes with an interesting back story, I am sure....but all I can really remember other than I had a great time with my boys is that we were all invited to a private party at a random club in a part of Milan that we normally never frequented. At this party we were all crowded into a tiny elevator that closed its doors and then refused to open and then just sat there. I am normally not claustrophobic but that night I was sweating and had something of a panic attack. Luckily, after several attempts the doors were pried open and we made way out to our table where drinks were awaiting. My other memories of that night were that the table we were at sat precariously by a swimming pool and I remember praying that I wouldn't end up falling in it, I also recall that on the way out there was an enormously obese prostitute sitting on a recliner on the corner of the street beckoning to my buddies, and that Daryl ended up walking me home like the perfect gentleman that he was while half of my other friends stayed at the party and the other half got into a car with some random girls and wound up waking up in that same car next to a lake somewhere outside of Milan the next morning. God, what a night.....lol! That was life back then....insouciance. Loved it. Never a single dull moment......

Venice the Redoux

2011-03-07T12:15:00.001-08:00

Sometime after Kari and I got done with our weekend in Monaco, she took off to travel Europe by rail and I went back to Milan. My castings, bookings and parties commenced and it was life as usual. At one point I was out on a Friday night at Gasoline with the boys and Josh brought up the idea of going to Venice the next day. By that time it was past midnight and we would be taking the morning train out. Early. I have a vague recollection of getting home, washing up, going to bed for a couple of hours and then racing over to the train station to meet up with everyone. Everyone ended up being Josh, Isaak, Ryan, Daryl and I.

Once on the train everyone passed out promptly except for Ryan and I. I remember having this great, three hour long conversation with him. For some reason we also ended up having these really interesting conversations at the most random places! Our convo was interrupted only once by Isaak who after waking up to go the the bathroom discovered that his enormous yellow sunglasses had gone missing. We searched high and low, and since we were the only ones in the train compartment, and those sunglasses were HUGE, it was really perplexing that they had just literally disappeared into thin air. This started Isaak off on a story about how he was sure that this was part of a curse that a model in London had put on him prior to arriving in Milan. To be honest, it was hard not to believe him because normally things don't just got *poof* and disappear. However, Isaak is amazing with the stories he tells...soo.....ya never know. ;)

Once in Venice, we walked, ate, talked, acted the part of the tourists we were and got back on the train later that day to go home. This time in Venice was completely normal and uneventful compared to the first trip I took the year prior with my motley crew. No naked bridge jumping, no drunkeness, no arrests, no hairy trannys....just me and my boys who I miss so much.

My boys in front of some excellent grafitti.

Blue Steel in Venice

I love this city....the Rialto Bridge is in the background...that is the very same bridge that a year prior saw my friends jumping off of it sans clothing in the middle of the night....model history. ;)

Monaco Grand Birthday Party

2011-02-27T22:06:00.000-08:00

So, the trip to Monaco....

Well, once we were packed we got picked up by the driver of one of Neil's friends who we later found out was a big deal Spanish dignitary. We drove to Monte Carlo and had a nice trip talking, laughing, taking in the views, and napping. Once we made it to the Monte Carlo city limits the driver pulled over and let us get out to see the view. It was jawdropping. Amazing. Cerulean blue waters with red tiled roofed villas cascading down the promontory we were on and surrounded by gardens that would have been at home in heaven. After taking in this breathtaking scenery we got back into the car and drove down to the marina and found Neil's yacht. We would be spending all of our waking hours on the boat and since it was berthed so close to the race course we would be able to watch the Grand Prix from the deck. Perfection. In the evenings we'd take a small wooden motorboat over to where we would be sleeping which was in a nearby villa that was owned by Neils' brother and sister-in-law. The villa was to die for and someday I hope to spend more time in one just like it...in Tuscany. ;)

After a few hours of hanging out on the yacht with Neil and his friends, one of which happened to be Princess Katherine of Denmark (who, btw, dubbed Neil's yacht "the prettiest in the marina") we decided to go walk the streets of Monte Carlo. Let me tell you that no city I have ever been in, and I have been in many, screams M O N E Y like Monte Carlo does. It was beautiful but at the same time I felt out of place. It was such a strange feeling because I have always assimialted to every place I have been in right away....but Monte Carlo was like some uber hyped rap video on steroids. Bentleys, Maseratis, Lambourghinis, Ferraris, you name it...and I probably just butchered the spelling of those cars...but I'm tired and a mom and totally entitled, eh? ;) The women were all dressed and Botoxed to the nines, it was a spectacle...and almost overwhelming to take all that glitz in.

Just being there made me feel like I should have bathed in gold prior to setting foot in those pristine streets. My Hungarian noble blood ran screaming away from me and I felt that little girl who grew up on government cheese come running right towards me. I was amazed at the beauty of the place, but very much uncomfortable at the same time.

The first night there we all had dinner at a seaside restaurant...outdoors of course. I can still remember the freshness of that food. Good lord...delicious. And I also remember Neil and another member of the party talking about a castle we could see high up on the hill and whether or not one or the other should put in an offer to purchase it. Have mercy.....to have just a fraction of that money! LOL!

The next day was my birthday...Yes! I got to spend my birthday on a millionaire's yacht in Monte Carlo for the Monaco Grand Prix!! I have to say that to this day that has to be one of the biggest highlights of my life. Neil was so lovely that he had his head chef make me a special cake and dinner on the yacht that night. I will never forget his graciousness and generosity. I will also never forgot how wonderful his brother and sister-in-law were for letting Kari and I sleep in their villa and treat us as if we were family. Those are the things that made our weekend in Monaco unforgettable. Sure, partying with P.Diddy, Naomi Campbell and Prince Albert on an Arabian prince's yacht was nice too....but it was Neil and his family that were the absolute most wonderful part of the trip.

Oh and I just can't forget to add one more memorable moment...one tht Kari and I laugh about every time we talk about it....our last night there everyone went out to party but we were tired and wanted to head back to the villa. Rather than take the boat as usual, Neil had his driver take us in his convertible Bentley. With the top down we whipped through the narrow streets where everyone was out reveling and we literally had everyone peering and turning their heads to see if we were anyone worth looking at, two famous chicks perhaps? Nope...it was just us...with rat's nests for hair and tired eyes! But it was certainly nice to get a little feeling for what it must be like to be a celebrity with all eyes on you....in a Bentley. LOL!

Kari and I have lost touch with Neil, which is sad and hopefully someday we'll cross paths again. I pray he and his family are well.

Pictures from our trip...I have many, many more but I am too tired and this scanner is ancient so these will have to suffice for now! =)

Views....

Happy Birthday to me!! =)

The villa where we slumbered. =)

Classic rich perv with roving eyes....nast.

And yes that is P. Diddy. =)

Picture Me....Back in Milan

2011-02-08T10:07:00.000-08:00

Wow....I am watching the documentary by Sarah Ziff called Picture Me which is about the ins and outs of the modeling world....very real and I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to know more about this life....Needless to say it makes me want to write even more! ;)

Ok, so now that I want to catch myself and whoever is reading this up to date...I have to get back to Milan (2nd season). Besides a lot of parties, castings, eating, bookings, and other random modelhood moments, there really wasn't too much earthshaking that went on. I did end up having my apartment to myself for a glorious three weeks when my roommate left for Germany. After three weeks a sweet Estonian girl named Olga Shipilova moved in, and one again I had lucked out in the awesome roomie department. She was young but had that mature quality that so many European girls have compared to their American counterparts. She was fluent in English and intelligent and loved gelato as much as I did. Another match made in roomie heaven.

My jobs that season consisted of editorials for "teen" magazines, catalogs, more work for La Rinascente, more short hair beauty stories, and a month of showroom for Byblos. It was just another season surround by great friends, and doing what I loved. Besides a pretty normal season I had one momentous occasion that I will never forget.....about 6 weeks into the season I got a call from my friend Neil inviting Kari and myself to spend a long weekend in Monte Carlo on his yacht for the Monaco Grand Prix. It would be the weekend of my birthday.....and without hesitation, I booked out with my agency and started prepping for a few days of complete and total celebrity treatment.

More to come on that amazing moment in my life....but for now, a few shots from Della Bass taken in a park outside of Milan, natural light, no retouching...the way it used to be.

A Little Model Internet Shopping

2011-01-30T20:19:00.000-08:00

I gotta say, I can only imagine how much more work there is available now for models then there was when I was traveling. When I was living out of my suitcase and hitting up the different markets for work, we worked strictly for print and commercials. Now there are all kinds of crossover bookings like video lookbooks and internet catalogs. Those didn't exist in my day. God, I feel like a dinosaur admitting to that, but there it is.

Luckily, I have gotten to book some internet catalogs up here in Portland for the likes of Reebok and Nike, but can you imagine the castings in Milan or Tokyo for these jobs? Have mercy...I cannot imagine the number of castings growing that much more...what...from 15 castings to 30 in a day? Must be good to be a baby model and out in the world right about now. ;)

Speaking of these internet catalogs and video lookbooks, I stumbled upon some gorgeous little numbers from marc by marc jacobs on Bluefly.com the other day that made me wish I was still working full time. Marc by Marc Jacobs has some delicious tops, skirts and a leather wallet that is to die for out right now. Marc Jacobs always does an amazing job at creating classic pieces that have just enough edge to them to make them work for women of all ages, and looking at his latest collection was definitely drool worthy.

And you don't even get me started on the marc jacobs handbags which are divine, for lack of a better word. The woven fringe hobo and the metallic "Little Stam" are on my wish list for sure. Just gorgeous.

Oh boy, I am just gonna have to sit here and daydream a little about these gorgeous fashion confections. One of these days I'll get myself back to a market where there is actual money to be made, and I will be treating myself to a little somethin' from Marc Jacobs. Yep, I think I will!

Empty Promises & Google Maps

2011-01-25T16:15:00.000-08:00

I am almost embarrassed at the fact that I have hopped on here sporadically the past year and half or so and promised to get my bum back on the blogging wagon...and failed. Is there a 12 step for that? *Sigh* Motherhood, general insanity, freelance writing-hood and the like have left me in a vegetable like state during all of those free moments that I should've been spending on here....pouring my memories into these posts, scanning in pictures...you know...

I did have an epiphany reading part of my friend, Ned's, blog Mr. Mister (http://nedshatzer.blogspot.com/) that I needed to get back to Leashing my Peacocks so that I can eventually actually write the play by play of my life as a Middel Model TODAY, in the moment, ahora.

My 2nd epiphany came when my other friend, Jeremy, emailed me with a link from Google Maps of where he thought he used to live in Milan. We were both scratching our heads over this link for a week or so until we figured out that we were looking at a building several blocks up Via Fiamma from where he actually lived. Before we figured this out it was something of an Inception moment...seeing things on the computer screen that were NOTHING like what I had in my mind's eye. The streets, apartments, shops, piazzas and cafes were totally different then what I so vividly remembered....what was going on here? Was I remembering something that never existed? This was Milan, after all, and unlike so many American cities, it wasn't like the Milanese were tearing down historical buildings to make way for the new Target Supercenter or anything like that.....so yeah....luckily we figured out that we were looking at the wrong building....I was uncomfortable thinking that perhaps I was so vino addled during my time there that I had created a whole other parallel reality then what actually existed and still exists in that fine Italian metropolis...

So thanks to Ned and Jeremy I have become re-inspired to continue on this blogging voyage and eventually bring you all up to date on what Middle Modelhood is all about....

Ready, Steady, GO!!!!

Scrubs and Lingerie

2010-12-01T13:56:00.000-08:00

I have to go on a little tangent on the randomness of my career....I am digressing from chronological order, once again. But I think you can forgive me, right? ;)

I've been modeling for about 12 years now and have worn everything from couture to maternity wear, bathing suits to business suits. I've dressed like a 12 year old and like a matronly lady who lunches...always a little bit of everything. To be honest, I'm surprised that I've yet to book a job modeling for a catalog dedicated to medical scrubs or something along those lines. I haven't ever had the pleasure of getting booked for one of those, um, ahem....glorious Halloween costume gigs either. You know, the kind that has grown women dressed up as Hermione from Harry Potter or a naughty Alice in Wonderland? Yeah. That kind of catalog...What I have been booking lately, instead of cotton scrubs is lingerie. Crazy? Yeah, I think so! Am I not supposed to be 17 and skin & bones to do that? Ha!

Now that I'm the mother of two, and living in a town not known for it's fashion scene, I am getting a little teensy taste of what is must be like to an a VS Angel....well, kinda. At least as close to that as Portland will allow. LOL! In the past month I've booked two fashion shows for NY lingerie Designers (Feng Feng and Teo) and I have to say that I am super flattered. While I love what I do and truly don't think I am above posing in scrub sets or surgical gowns for a decent day rate, it makes me smile that I still can get up there with the young uns and feel all girly and stuff in some luxurious skivvies.

Maybe I don't quite need to retire just yet....not just yet. ;)

R.I.P. Jason Sanvido

2010-11-03T14:36:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how to even start this post.....My blood is still running cold, my stomach feels punched, and I just cannot wrap my brain around the news that I just came upon. I want to share some fond memories first....

For those of you who have followed this blog from it's inception, you may remember my mentioning my band of brothers from Milan. A group of guys that became some of my closest friends and who I made some of my best memories with. From partying in the clubs du jour to just hanging out at the park, or commuting to castings....these guys were my boys, true blue and blood.

One of those friends was a young Canadian named Jason Sanvido. He was 18 years old when I met him and his twinkling eyes and infectious smile made him an instant friend to all who met him. I remember being in awe of how incredibly smart he was. He had a photographic memory and could spout off facts about everything from history to technology like a walking set of Encyclopedias. He was kind, humble, caring, and always willing to listen. Wise and mature beyond his years. After our first season in Milan he was the first friend to call me on my phone to see how I was and make sure I had made it home well....that was Jason. Amazing kid.

Jason was one of an even smaller and closer group of friends from my original Milan crew...he was one part of the Dolce Crew. The Dolce Crew is the name we somehow ended with after that fated 24 hours in Venice, Italy when we were on the train back to Milan (I posted about this momentous occasion under The Naked Venice Bridge Jump). The 24 hours in which everyone except for little old me ended up naked and jumping off of the Rialto Bridge into the Grand Canal. I can't remember in which order Jason jumped...but he did. And along with everyone besides Jean-Paul, Ned and myself he ended up getting chased down, arrested and spending the night in jail for "desecrating" this Italian monument. Total rockstar!

Jason also happened to have his birthday the week following mine. He was my Gemini baby bro. For the two seasons we had in Milan together I threw parties at my apartment for our b-day celebrations. We made this horrible concoction of wine, limoncello and random fruit chunks inspired by Paul's sangria and then we'd all end up walking to Louisiana.

My 2nd season in Milan....(I posted about this night too) when Jeremy, Kari and I walked into the VIP of Gasoline, there was Jason hanging out at the bar with Geoff. This is one memory that I keep having run through my mind.......when I called out his name and he turned around and saw us standing there, he got the hugest grin on his face and literally dropped his drink from the surprise of seeing us. It was like that. So great.

Now...the news that has me reeling is that Jason, who I remember so very much alive, is no longer with us. After a random thread on Facebook that another one of our mutual friends and Dolce Crew members wrote, I decided to look for Jason on Facebook. He wasn't listed. I had tried at random to find him in the past to no avail. I thought that he just fell out of touch, as has happened with a few others. Then I Googled his name and an obituary posting came up with his name and date of death. I was in denial...had to be another Jason Sanvido, not the one I knew. Well, it was the one I knew.

After emailing the local newspaper in his town in Ontario, Canada, the editor sent me the original article about Jason's untimely death. He was only 22. He passed away in March of 2003....about 2 years after most of us had lost touch with him. He was hit by a semi truck one morning in dense fog and killed instantly. This happened 7 years ago and I cannot believe that only now I am finding out about it. I have seen him in pictures from my albums and wondered how he was doing....what he was doing...where life had taken him. He would be 29 now....maybe married...maybe with kids. I can't believe it. I have always thought of my friends from those days as being somewhat untouchable....maybe we all feel that way about our friends, I don't know. What I know is that a life that young, kind and promising was extinguished so unfairly and so tragically.

May you rest in peace, Jason. Those of us who knew you are better for it. You are remembered with a lot of love and happy memories. We are blessed that you were part of our crew. You had adventures during those times that few people could ever dream of. You got to be a rockstar. Ciao amico bello. Ciao.

Models are Not Real...LOL!

2010-09-20T09:55:00.000-07:00

I have to jump away from my timeline on here for a minute because I just cannot get over the amount of modeling "reality" shows and competitions on TV nowadays! When I was traveling, I don't think there was a single one of these on...and thank God for that.

Had any of this crap (which, I have to admit, I am sadly addicted to) been on then, I may have ended up being scared to death every time I made good use of my Direct TV hook-up and turned on the tube. I may have decided that after watching one too many, vapid, spoiled, insipid, underaged brat whining about getting a haircut or trying to sabotage another model that this was not what I wanted to do with my life. Luckily, I was untainted by modeling "reality" and had the adventure of a lifetime with some of the coolest people ever. Sure, I ran into handfuls of models that would make perfect TV fodder for these shows, but I never had to be friends with them..and like I've already described in the annals of this blog, I did have some CRAZY roommates...but it wasn't like I had to live with TWELVE of them in one apartment. Just one crazy at a time.

So now, when I turn on my LocalTV-Satellite to fulfill my guilty pleasure of watching ANTM or She's Got the Look...oh God, and let's not forget Make Me a Supermodel...I laugh inside thinking about what a terrible view of models TV viewers are getting. Those models are NOT real! LOL! They are little walking parodies strutting their "fierce" wanna-be stuff by way of your localtv-satellite.com. Out of every ten models I met, I can honestly say only two would fit that profile....and more likely then not, those were the girls (and boys) not every really working in the first place! ;)

Tram, Planes, Trains and Automobiles

2010-08-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

I know somewhere that I have a collection of pictures that will need to be posted at soime point in time of several of us fab young things taking trams around Milan, cabs in Taipei, planes to the Bahamas....sometimes the random automobile would be thrown in the the mix, but rarely.

Packing cars sardine style was really more of a college thing. Since most cities that I traveled too for work had excellent public transportation, I left the car worries to the locals and made sure to always carry some form of train pass, etc to get me from here to everywhere. Los Angeles, of course, was the one exception to that rule, which I think I mentioned before....but even working in other California cities I had the pleasure of being able to use great mass transit....like in San Francisco.

The handful of times I was up there I found myself either being picked up and driven from the airport to my booking or I'd be privy to the joys of BART as opposed to worrying about my Honda Accord and where I was going to park it in that labyrinth of a city, or if my timing belt was going to go out as I drove across the Golden Gate Bridge. Knowing the number of my booker's cell phone and where the client's location was going to be was about all I wanted to have to worry about, some San Francisco auto repair company was definitely not something I wanted to care about.

Now that I live in the burbs and have to drive to get to anything, and I mean anything except for the Krispie Kreme down the street, I really miss those awesome public transportation days....oh yeah, and those plane rides to the Bahamas....good God I had it good....sigh....

Chronology is a Bitch.

2010-08-05T19:47:00.000-07:00

So after that wild night that truly signaled the start to a new season in Milan, I can't quite accurately tell you what exactly ensued. Maybe I just don't want to realize that, (GASP), all of this took place almost a decade ago...while I really want to believe that it was all just yesterday. I cannot possibly admit that I am that much closer to Depends and Dentucreme now then I was then....sigh....oh the anguish of it all! ;)

I do know that we maintained our busy casting schedule. Sat in cattle calls for hours, tried our best to decipher what the clients were thinking or saying while looking at our books. We convened at Parco Sempione in the warm afternoons of Italian spring and summer....drank wine, smoked cigs (but only to keep the sadistic mosquitos away, right?) and talked for hours on end about everything and nothing at all....We partied at night like the insouciant youth that we were....leaving clubs as the sun was making its way back out to greet the world. We ran around on blackened feet to castings, ever trying to fold and refold those tarpaulin sized maps of La Citta de Milano....we stopped to eat gelato, panini, antipasti, drink caffe lattes and cappuccinos and espremutas di arancia. We stopped to smell the roses back then too.

I look back on those days with the utmost joy, fondness and melancholy. Those truly were the best days of my life. I traveled and got paid to do so...and most importantly....I had the BEST friends on earth to do it with. We were actually there for each other...not in a Facebook kind of way...but in an actual IN YOUR FACE kind of way. Nothing compares to that now...never will.

I didn't end up working as much as I had wanted to this particular season in Milan...but that didn't matter. I booked a few catalogs, a small editorial, a couple of hair advertisements, and worked showroom for Byblos. It was enough to keep my account clear at the agency. I knew Asia was around the corner for me again where I could repad the old checking account. What mattered was that deep down inside of me I knew that this season in Milan was going to be one of the last seasons that all of us...the C-9 Killahs and the Dolce Crew....would be together. My best bud, my little brother love, Ned, even came out from Paris to spend a few weeks with the old crew in our madness and moments of joyful indiscretion. For just a moment we are all back together and it felt like something that good could never end. But, alas, all good things do come to and end.

A few new good compadres were even added to the mix...as if a group that great could get any better...it did. Ryan, Josh, Daryl, Daniel, Casey....all of us total addicts to the gods of gelati. God, I miss all of those cats. Badly.

And now we are all grown up and off and around the world....some married with kids. Some newlyweds (CONGRATS MIKEY!!), some heading corporations, some still living the dream, some have just fallen off the map.....but never forgotten. ;)

This post just got WAY more emotional then I intended it to....lol! I just truly miss those moments in a lifetime that seems completely like fiction to me now. I miss knowing that in a month or two I would be back on a plane, my life in a midsized black suitcase, and off to see my friends again in some distant land.....too good to be true? It wasn't then....just is now.

And with that I'll sign off. No point in weeping into my laptop. ;) I'll be back again shortly with some proper anecdotes and pictorials. After all, I did make it back to Venice with some of the newer members of my crew...only this time no one ended up getting arrested.

xoxo

As Promised...A Collage of our Moments of Greatness

2010-06-08T13:22:00.000-07:00

Well...just of the night I just blogged about! ;) There are more photographic gems of this night, I just need to find them....this last move has left me in a quandry as to where most of my stuff is!

Tomorrow I dedicate myself to finding all lost records of that night and the others that followed. ;)

Texting and Transpo

2010-04-29T19:36:00.001-07:00

I'm in the middle of a big house move, so my promised pics of the infamous Night of Wine in the Bushes will have to wait another week or two....but in the meantime, let me entertain you with some stories of texting and transportation in Milan.

Like I've said before, in most markets outside of Asia and Los Angeles, models find themselves walking out of their agencies on their first day there with a map the size of a tarpaulin and a list of go-sees. This is survival of the fittest. There is no big black Escalade on twenty-two's waiting to take you anywhere....not even a tore-up Toyota Corolla with your name on it. You get to Milan, Paris, London, Hamburg, Barcelona, Miami or wherever else you may land and it is up to you and only you to get your pretty little model arse to where you are supposed to be. None of this America's Next Top Model girls-getting-driven-around shite. Nope.

Yet, somehow, we all seem to hit the ground running just fine. So fine, that our little network of friends was in contact with each other on the trams, subways, and busses of Milan at all times via our Omnitel Savvy cell phones. We'd be sending each other texts about who was hot and who had a crush on who. We'd message each other random song lyrics with words substituted in that only we would find funny...so I won't bother boring or twisting your minds with that....;) If a casting was too full or just sucked in general, there we were warning our buddies about it. When we were hankering for gelato or happy hour the texts would get sent out and within an hour we'd all be practicing mad gluttony together. It was great.

Had we been driving our own cars, this would've never been possible. We'd have been too busy worrying about traffic and if the car's water pump needed to be replaced. Texting on public transpo was AWESOME......and that was back then....on our archaic little plastic phones. I can't even imagine how great it would be with all the gadgetry the baby models have now!

Our cellys were used for nothing more than pleasure. It was all about the gossip and plannification of great times together. We didn't need our phones to figure out the weather forecast for the next millenia or whether we could find reliable Chicago auto repair or check our Facebook pages. Facebook? Love it now, but back then...did it even exist? We were actually all together...just a text message away...no need for the social networking...we were living it.

Oh yeah...the good old days of public transpo in Milan. Good times. No worries about anything....oh man, take me back to that, even just for a minute!

Back on Course In Milan....(Wine in Bushes and Other Moments of Greatness)

2010-04-10T14:11:00.001-07:00

Ok, so let me get back on course with the happenings....last thing I wrote about my last season in Milan was that I had issues with my crazy agency owner and that I had moved on to Names and into a great new apartment. In the interim, when I was staying for a few days at the hotel that my friend, Marcus, had so generously paid for is when I first was reunited with members of my old posse.

Kari had flown into town and moved in with Derek (who by the way is now a regular on the new season of the Real Housewives of New York City!!!! He's as fab as ever and I am so proud of him!!) but was spending some nights with me at the Hotel Serena where we would stay up into the wee hours catching up on life, drinking wine and just being happy. A few days into Kari being in Milan, Jeremy (remember my Canadians?) arrived. We met up for a little prefunk in my hotel room his first night back which we prepped for by going to the local supermarket and buying ludicrous amounts of cheap vino and lugging it all back to my room.

At some point in the night we decided that we would WALK to Gasoline to see if any of our other friends were in town yet. Keep in mind, that we all had cells and texting was a new thing for us....so we really were all playing it by ear as to when we would run into the rest of our crew. The walk from Hotel Serena to Gasoline must've been something like 30 minutes long...we're talking opposite ends of Milan....but we had bottles of wine in hand and my trusty camera to keep us company. God, the pictures from that night...THE PICTURES! I'll be scanning those in this week and posting them. They are BEAUTIES.

Once we got to Gasoline we figured it would be an amazing idea to hide our wine bottles in the bushes outside of the club. Since we were there early on in the season we weren't sure that there would be table service provided for us and we had to make very sure that our sweet buzz would continue unaltered throughout the night. After stashing our bottles, we got in line, were escorted to the front (love being a model...heh heh) and into the VIP section at the back of the club. I was drunkish at the time but remember clear as day getting pinched by random hands almost the entire walk to the back. Not cute.

Once there we met up with Derek who was also in the throes of Bacchus and somehow ended up on the floor in the VIP with all of us laying there with him. Lovefest, what can I say? LOL! A little after that I looked up to see Jason, one of my other Canadians standing with another boy model and his de rigeur Jack & Coke in hand. I called out his name and when he looked over (and this is one my best friend/reuniting moments ever) he stared with this look of joy on his face over at us and literally dropped his glass out of surprise. It was beautiful. He ran over to us and there were hugs and kisses all around. Seriously the best thing ever. Imagine being in a foreign country for just a few days and all of a sudden seeing a close friend out of the blue. Like that...so good.

We all drank and danced and loved each other (and not in any way durrty...so please....minds out of gutters, stat.) and took breaks to run out to the bushes to gulp down more wine (even though Derek made sure that we had endless champagne...) but we were kids and high on life and so, why not drink that wine in the foliage? We also made damned sure to do pole dances od the random metal tube stuck in a block of cement that was outside of the club too....again, why the hell wouldn't we?

Milan, Milan, Milan....Kari, Jeremy, Jason and Derek......I miss the hell out of you.

Left Off....

2010-03-29T19:15:00.000-07:00

Ha! Wow....I just realized that I need to pick back up from my last season in Milan. Life always seems to get in the way...bad blogger excuse, but so be it. I now have written down in my planner on what days I need to update and scan in ancient photographs....so don't give up hope on me yet. ;)

Back SOON! =)

Of Cars and Feet

2010-03-19T15:25:00.000-07:00

I have really small feet for a model....so small that clients have joked with me about how I can possibly stand up without tipping over because my feet are so miniscule for a girl my height. It's genetic..what can I say? All the women in my family have feet small enough to make a Geisha cry with envy. At 5'8" I wear a size 6 shoe. Yep 6. So while clients would think that was funny or cute, I always got to work on shoe catalogs the world over because my hoofs were just right for sample sizes. No complaints here!

The only market I ever had trouble booking foot jobs (wow that sounds slightly naughty) was Miami. In Europe and Asia I had public transportation to take, and In Los Angeles I always drove my car. However, in Miami models walk to all of the castings and since it's hot we'd all wear flip-flops. This is great until you get to a casting, without having been told it was specifically for a shoe catalog, and you realize that your feet are black from street grime that somehow manages to creep over the soles of your sandals and right onto your toes. Sexy. Castings like those would find me wishing I had arrived in the comfort of a Ford Explorer or at least a scooter.

During one particular casting, I found out that the client was asking the models to remove their shoes in order to look at our feet from every angle and 9 out of 10 girls were walking out of the casting room with red faces....I started sweating bullets wondering if I should skip the casting and make my bookers blow a head gasket or have the clients see my tan and black feet and utter some words of disgust in French, Italian or German....I saw the little fountain in front of the hotel the casting was being held in and wanted so badly to dip my feet in it...but the concierge was hovering. Ugh. I went in and apologized, handed them my card and made a quick retreat...without any shoe removal. Shoe casting FAIL!

I loved being able to drive my own car to castings in LA. I had my trusty Honday Civic, a Triple A card and knew where I needed to go for some good ol' Los Angeles auto repair should I have needed it. Traffic and parking aside, there was something so nice about the freedom of having your own set of wheels...listening to music to amp me for whatever casting I was having, the ability to have some personal time and space...it was golden. Needless to say, in Los Angeles, my feet were ALWAYS camera ready!

Model TV Addiction

2010-02-02T13:50:00.000-08:00

I just have to cut in here and talk a little about what it was like for me the first few hours I would move into any models' apartment in any part of the globe. For some reason, I would more often than not, move in and have the entire place be empty. Not empty as in I got the apartment to myself for the entire season...more like, empty because everyone was working or on castings. So, what does a girl do in a foreign country, in a new apartment, and all on her lonesome? TURN ON THE TV.

It didn't matter if I was in Italy, Japan or Taiwan...the first thing I would do upon entering a new home and setting my luggage down, was to turn on the television. It's not like I expected the experience to be anything like turning on my TV at home and having my shows pop up as if my Direct Satellite TV services had magically followed me abroad.....but I did want to hear and see something.

That eerie quiet that comes from being alone in a strange new hovel was always disheartening to me. Despite my travel addiction, for those first few seconds in a new and empty place, I would have a flash of homesickness...I would want to grab the phone and pay unreal sums of money just to "connect" with someone. So, instead of a phone call, I would turn on the tube and watch really loud and bright Japanese game shows, or Italian music videos which were often (as in the case of Piero Pelu) too unbelievably bad to look away from....or the VTV music videos in Taipei that played anything from Brittney Spears terribleness to some really cool Korean hip hop. Once in a while, I scored and would find a show in English...some ancient Fresh Prince or Little House on the Prairie episode that was somehow bouncing through space off of a Direct Satellite TV satellite....and that was good. Real good. And then there were the apartments were the TV's sat there covered in dust...like a relic from the Eastern Bloc...some random looking contraption that would not work no matter how much I cursed at it and tried every knob (mind you most never had a remote)...and those were always the creepiest nights. Sitting there in silence until a roomate would finally appear and save me from the quiet.....

This model TV addiction never lasted long. Once in and integrated into my new life and home I barely had time to sit and watch anything on TV. And when I did it was to watch DVD's with friends....When I would return home to the States though I would always make sure that my Direct TV in California or Oregon would always be set up and working.....and it always was to my great relief....because after being gone for 3-6 months at a time, coming home to the States and my apartments there was always strange and oddly disheartening as well. I would want to have the company of whatever news anchor or sitcom actor was on at the moment I would walk in the door....

And it's funny for me to even think about all of this now....since at this point in my life I crave nothing more than silence and solitude...and a large chunk of chocolate....but back then, the silence of an empty apartment after being on planes full of people, photoshoots surrounded by crew, and parties embraced by friends...was just not comfortable.....So, yes....I guess in that way I was a typical American, needing my TV and finding it a source of comfort. No wonder some of my Eastern Euro and Brazilian roomies would roll their eyes at me when they first met me...."aha! look at the American! always with the TV on even if she isn't watching it!".

Best Models Apartment EVER!!

2009-12-23T10:28:00.000-08:00

I have waxed and wanted poetic in the past about how bad the conditions of models' apartments usually are....but once in a while you hit the jackpot and Names in Milan gave me my pot of gold. Names had several apartment suites reserved in pensiones around Milan. Mine happened to be in the Pension Garden.

Whereas most models' apartments lacked in square footage and furnishings, this one had a really nice lounge area, that led to the bathroom (with a proper shower!!) and then the bedroom. The kitchen was in what I assumed was a closet in the living room, but it proved to be adequate enough for the two of us. After all, in Milan the food is aplenty and a trip across the street to the Bar Cafe was always perfect to satiate our hunger. We also were privy to free lunches at different spots around town...a model perk in Milan. :) The apartment also had large windows that sung open over a pleasant courtyard and the building had a concierge and secured entry. I was in model heaven.

Being that this was an apartment-suite we also had all of the amenities that we could want...a washer and DRYER....and the dryer part is exciting because those are not de rigeur in Europe or Asia. We had a great assortment of pots, pans, plates, and matching silverware! It may not have been sterling silver flatware and the plates were plastic rather than Pfaltzgraff dinner sets but they matched, were unbroken and abundant. Up until that point I was used to using chipped bowls for every meal and plastic utensils...or rusted and bent ones. I guess the agencies assumed that models wouldn't be eating anyways! lol!

The few times we stayed home and cooked with our actual pans and tableware...(my favorite was pasta with sauteed mushrooms, tomatoes and zucchini topped with fresh buffalo mozzarella)...our meals looked like something worthy of a Food Television close-up. Life was good....and this would be just the start of an amazing, amazing, amazing season in Milan.

Zit Explosions

2009-12-20T19:47:00.000-08:00

I have to make a slight detour and talk a little about models and their complexions while traveling. There are a select few who suffer from nothing more than a slight case of chapped lips or an oily forehead...but the rest of us do go through some skin trauma every time we travel.

Due to pollution, water conditions, changes in diet, lack of sleep, dehydration from long plane trips, most models will end up with a random explosion of zits during the first few weeks in a new city with nary an English speaking Dermatologist to be found. This, of course, is horrible because you want to make a great first impression on your agents and the new clients and photographers you'll be meeting. Walking around with a few prime goiters on your face is not exactly worthy of great self-esteemage.

I was mostly lucky in that I would get some minor break-outs that I could cover with some concealer and that would clear up in a day or two, but once in a while I would develop a nice crop of cystic acne somewhere painfully obvious like my chin that would make me cringe at the thought of leaving my apartment to face the hypercritical world I worked in. Hell, I probably would've cringed to go work at a burger joint when my breakouts were that bad. Luckily, the more I traveled and worked, the more I found out that models having skin issues while traveling was as common as finding out that people get boob jobs and laser hair removal in Los Angeles. Also, the more I traveled, the less my skin would react....it was starting to get used to the "abuse". ;)

I had make-up artists sympathize and tell me that they are always working with girls who get bad skin...especially in the bigger, dirtier cities like Milan, Athens, Paris and Taipei. They would suggest washing my face with bottled water, but the cost and pain in the assness of doing that was always daunting and eventually my zits would leave of their own accord and not return so it was all good. I also finally discovered tea tree oil soaps and astringents and that, to this day, has kept my pores clear.

Having had a Smartphone or real internet access during those times of skin crisis would've been nice. When I was traveling for work we all still pretty much depended on obscure internet cafes that charged up the wazoo for an hour of slooooow internet connections. I know that being able to hit up a site like Celibre or even WebMd would have helped me figure out how to prevent skin scares in the first place.

I remember out of sheer desperation, I ended up burning a little patch on my left cheek. Not burning as in "with fire", but a week before I was to be in Asia for a contract, I developed a stress zit smack dab on the middle of my cheek that had its own heartbeat and looked like Vesuvius. Painful and I knew I couldn't hide that thing. So I kept dabbing it day and night with Benzoyl Peroxide and rubbing alchohol and lo and behold a few days later the bump was gone but my skin was black in that spot. BLACK AND CRISPY. The burnt skin finally peeled off the day I was supposed to fly out, thank God. But still...gross.

More Crazy in Milan

2009-12-17T10:59:00.000-08:00

Ok, where was I...this Swine Flu fried my brain.....ah yes....Milan.

So, there I was living in an overloaded models apartment, not being able to shower or sleep or keep food in the kitchen. I had made my agency a lot of money the season before and felt that I deserved better living conditions. Why not, right? I mean, I know that models apartments are pretty much crap no matter where you go, but this was ridiculous.

After a few days I decided to go in to talk to the owner of my agency about moving me to another apartment. I knew that there was room for one more girl at the apartment that I had lived in the season before and I wanted to move over there. The owner, Patti, freaked out on me and told me that I couldn't live at the apartment on Paolo Sarpi because I had let an Italian man move in there after I had left and gone back to the States. WTF?!?!?!?! She said that a month after I had left, the cleaning lady had walked into the apartment and there was a guy living there who threw the keys at her when confronted and told her that I had sublet the apartment to him. Ummmm...WHAT?

The thing is, when I left, there was a Swedish model moving in...she was in the apartment for a few days before my departure and during that time she had another female model move in as well who had been kicked out of her agency and was therefore pretty much homeless. The Swede was a BITCH. She was an older catalog model and patronized me to no end for the few days she was there. I hated her and I'm sure the energy was apparent. I'll always believe that she was the one who handed my apartment keys (which I had left on the coffee table and asked her to return to the agency...to which the bitchnazz agreed) to one of her Italian friends with an aside that it was me who gave him the keys should he get caught in there. Aaaah...just thinking about it makes me so mad still!!

So, there I am trying to relate the story to Patti about Swedish C**nt and her key trickery, but she would have none of it. I didn't even have any male Italian friends the entire time I was there.....we models hung out together and didn't have much to do with the locals. Just how it was. So, Patti insisted that I stay at the apartment I was in and that was that.

I decided to take things into my own hands....I moved out and in with my make-up artist friend, Derek, from Miami who was in Milan for the season. I stayed there for a few days, and then when my friend, Marcus, from Taipei found out that I had nowhere to stay he booked me a room in a nice hotel for a week so that I could get my bearings and figure out what I wanted to do. I've since lost touch with him, but that was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.....I'll never forget it.

After moving into the hotel, I found out that my booker from last season had moved on to Names Agency so I gave her a call and went in to meet with the bookers. Names signed me right away and found me a gorgeous...and I mean NICE apartment with a sweet Bolivian roommate....yes, just ONE roommate....to move into right away. They faxed Patti at Eye for I and told her I was moving on....Patti got mad...oops....but that was that.

Names ended up being an even more top notch agency and they really housed the models in the best apartments of any I've seen. You cannot imagine how happy I was! The caliber of my castings went up too and I was seeing Armani, Conde Nast, Byblos (for whom I booked showroom for a month), Diesel, RePlay and more....it was great. My roomie was amazing, we got to speak in Spanish all the time, and so my new season in Milan began.....

SWINED!

2009-12-06T11:51:00.000-08:00

I got the Swine Flu. H1N1...whatever you want to call it. Let me get back to feeling human and less undead and I'll resume my posting.

Thanks and stay healthy!!!

Give Me Fashion TV!!!

2009-11-24T14:29:00.000-08:00

And now I have to rant a little...random...and I promise to get back to my adventures in Milan...but...

I had a friend on Facebook post that he wondered why Fashion TV is not readily available in the United States, yet you can watch it pretty much anywhere and everywhere else in the world. His post made realize that, not only was he right, but also that I too missed watching FTV. I wanted to make sure I hadn't just "missed" it on my TV listings and that my satellite tv provider was indeed pumping this goodness into my house...but nope. No Fashion TV channel to be seen...

If you haven't watched Fashion TV in the past, it is a channel dedicated to airing fashion shows from around the globe 24/7. With great music pumping, you are exposed to all of the hottest trends, models and designers...an education in fashion akin to sitting and reading a pile of Italian Vogues. For models, the channel is great as a tool for learning what walks are expected on the runway for the season. What can I say...I heart FTV. And now that I'm thinking about it, I'm getting even more uber nostalgic about my traveling days than I normally am! Would my satellite television providers know what I was talking about if I called and asked for my fashion show channel to be hooked up? And why, pray God, is this channel not offered as a normal part of any package? Fashion is good!! I want to watch runway shows, not porn or fishing. I get the fishing channel on my TV....but no fashion. Hmmm. This could be one reason why Europeans think we are so ass backwards when it comes to couture.

Or maybe it's just a coastal thing....I do remember that in Miami all of the condos I lived in had FTV....and NY too....Do we need to demand our satellite tv providers on the West Coast to give us runways, trance music, gorgeous people and f a s h i o n 24 hours a day?? I think yes. Give me that hedonistic pleasure, please. All the flannels and Birkenstocks around me are making me a sad girl.

Euros, Gold Coins and Scoliosis

2009-11-24T14:02:00.000-08:00

I have to clarify....when I was working in Europe the Euro was still kind of trying to make its way into the banking system...so I would get paid in whatever the currency of the country I was in was at the time. And while traveling around for pleasure or direct bookings, I would have to change over my money at Forex stations. At the time, it was fine...I didn't know better, but I would have killed to have just used the Euro! One currency no matter where I went....talk about simplifying things. Also, I'm sure I would have had a happier bank account had I been paid in Euros as opposed to, say, lira. Euros would have been as welcome a form of payment to me as a nice pile of gold.

The economy was a bit better when I was traveling for work...not GREAT, but better....I still managed to make a nice living for taking pictures and wandering the earth. I didn't need to be paid my weight in gold coins (cue the model/waif jokes) to ensure that my bills at home were being paid as well as my stomach was being filled and I could shop if I so wanted...and yes of course, I wanted.

The thought of looking into alternate currency or investments never crossed my mind then, like they do now. I find myself listening to CNN's financial advisors and wondering if I need to convert all of my dollars into gold bullion or talk to my bookers in town about which client will be willing to pay me out in a big fat gold coin rather than the customary payroll check. It's crazy. I miss my carefree money days...even if I did have to carry a bag full of foreign coins heavy enough to give me the scoliosis I am pretty sure I have now.

And if you have no idea what all this talk of gold is about, there are plenty of websites that can inform you about what a great investment gold is. Sites like GoldCoinsAgain.com are great for keeping you updated on the value of gold, the trading trends, as well as can tell you what exactly bullion is....which is a good thing. You don't want to walk around telling people you are making an awesome crockpot creation using bullion.....yeah....

All this talk of gold coins, Euros and money in general is reminding me that I need to start getting all of my receipts and tax schtuff in order....almost that time of year. I am a Qualified Performing Artist after all! ;)

No, I Don't Get Free Clothes (aka I Heart Diesel)

2009-11-23T13:59:00.000-08:00

The economy being what it is, I've decided to accept some offers to write about websites that I love on Peacocks. Mind you, I'm being very picky and only accepting clients that I already know, use and trust. I just wanted to give you all the heads up in case you find yourselves wondering how I went from whining about my craptastic models' apartment to couture underwear. To be honest, I love couture underwear and I do not love living like a sardine. I also love a little cash in hand...and who doesn't? ;) So...consider yourself warned and don't love me any less (or more, depending on who you are...).

As a model, people have asked me ad nauseum if I ever get free clothes, shoes, etc. from my shoots or fashion shows. The answer is a resounding "NO!". Actually, if I really think back....I got a free pair of socks from Adidas for a commercial I did for them once, and a track suit from a NIKE shoot...the art director was amazing. I have worked for trade and gotten sweet items from Portland designer, Sofada , but that's about it. So, like the rest of y'all, I have to SHOP for my duds.

One of my all time favorite websites for great deals on shoes and even greater customer service is Zappos. They not only carry insanely great, to the minute hot shoes, but also clothes and now...yes...even underwear. Diesel underwear. I heart Diesel underwear....to be honest, I heart anything by Diesel. I used to spend countless hours and dollars ahem...Lire) at the Diesel store at Piazza San Babila in Milan. Had I had a boyfriend at the time I would have had to insist he wear the Diesel boxers too....have mercy. Why didn't I get a pair for myself?? Anyways, back to what I was saying....you don't have to live in a cosmopolitan center of fashion to buy the latest from Diesel....Zappos.com has your Diesel wish list ready to mail out....and you know that Diesel underwear is on the top of that list. Admit it.

Moving My Model Self Back to Milan

2009-11-15T19:24:00.001-08:00

After my last stint in Taipei I hightailed it back to Milan. All of my friends and roomies had left Taiwan so I was ready to head back to Europe and re-surround myself with my crew. Returning to Milan was nothing short of a homecoming. I was going to be represented by my old agency, they had bookings already lined up for me and one of my besties from Miami was going to be there for the first time, the bellisimma Marissa Juliette! This was bound to be an amazing trip!

The minute I got off of the plane, boarded the express to Cadorna and disembarked in the city center with all of my luggage I felt fit to burst with excitement and anticipation of another amazing season in one of my favorite cities. I got my cell phone charged (Omnitel baby!) and headed for the agency. Everything seemed the same once I walked in except for my favorite booker, Giorgia, was missing....and no one would say why. Then I was told that the apartments were all overbooked and that I would be living with 7 other girls and to please take a cab to the apartment right away to wash up and get ready for castings.

That was the first red flag...a taxi? My previous season I had been driven by the agency driver in the agency car (yes, emblazoned with Eye for I on the side) and graciously helped with my luggage up the three flights of marble stairs to my apartment. Hmmmm. The second red flag was that I would be living with 7 girls rather than the 1 or 2 from the season before. SEVEN girls in a tiny Milanese apartment.

Ok, I'm not a picky girl....I could handle it. I took the cab and got to the apartment. Once there, I Quasimodo'd my suitcases up the stairs (the lift was broken) and met my roomates. The first one I met was a drop dead gorgeous redhead named, Judith Bedard. We bonded as she was another half Cuban like me. I liked her right away, she had a no nonsense thing about her that was refreshing. She then showed me the only open bed in the place...it was a little bed in the living room of the apartment that had a sagging mattress because it was missing 4 slats right in the middle of the bed. Nice. Then I saw the kitchen, where every shelf and countertop was covered with food, and lastly the bathroom...the single bathroom for SEVEN models. SEVEN. And to make it all the better the shower only ran a piss warm, shoelace sized stream of water. Luxury.

After washing up and meeting a few photographers, I was dead tired. I grabbed a panino and a bottle of water from the paninoteca downstairs and made a beeline for my cot. It must have been around 9pm and after eating I was ready to pass out...jet lag from Asia to Europe is a bitch. But, since my bed was in the living room, the idea of privacy or getting any sleep at all was going to prove less realistic than a two headed unicorn showing up in the foyer. As I was getting comfortable in my saggy bed, a sweet little girl from Alabama came in with her Canadian boytoy and after two seconds of introductions, they started making out and then watched a movie on the TV. I started to feel a little homicidal at that point.

This was NOT starting off how I had imagined or expected it to.

Go to the START!!

2009-11-14T17:11:00.000-08:00

LOL! For all of you new visitors....I just want to make sure you start this story from the top....

Just go into my archives and find my very first post and go from there...makes much more sense that way! :)

YES!

2009-11-14T15:03:00.000-08:00

I found my journal and another box of modeling pictures. This week I'll be indulging you, ok, myself...with the rest of my adventures in modelhood.....

and on that note, I want to welcome my cousin, Christine Perez, to my world! She has been offered a contract by a top Miami agency. Her career is about to take off and you better believe I'll be living vicariously through her when she's on the road!!

Ciao tutti! Be back on Tuesday!!!

Back from the Dead

2009-10-28T10:38:00.000-07:00

Good lord.....it's almost Halloween and I just realized that Peacocks on Leashes has been pretty much left to rot. In time for the ghoulish holiday, I am bringing this blog BACK TO LIFE. Muahahahahahaa!! It's been too long, and I still have stories to tell....I want to get all of my adventures onto this page and bring you all up to date on what my life has morphed into...still modeling, but somehow juggling two kids, a husband and the real world. See you SOON! :)

FINALLY!!!!!!! The Taiwanese Tearsheets!!!

2009-02-03T21:05:00.000-08:00

I should be ashamed of myself, I know...for making everyone wait so long to see these beauts. I am also beyond ashamed that I cannot find the catalogs tears of me posing in various, divine polyester blend outfits on inflatable furniture....the stuff Versace could have only dreamed of, may he rest in peace.

To make up for some of this (and I will be self flagellating a la old school religion, if that helps any) here are some of the tearsheets I scrounged up from my last season in Taipei....lots of work but I dug it. Workaholic that I am. ;)

Yes, this was a wig, and YES I LOVED IT!

Taiwan was great for my magazine cover repertoire....I was the Teen Cheese Smile Champ on the Isle of Formosa:

(I may have posted this one before...I can't remember which season I got this cover in...but it fits in with the afore mentioned title...)

And from the teen queen look I would go directly to the Ladies Fashion genre....

And throw in some ad campaigns with the super HOT bowl cut:

As well as some more ad campainage in which I stare adoringly at a pair of miniscule mules....

I have to say that one thing I adored about working in Taipei is that I never knew what I was going to end up looking like at the end of a job. Sometimes I looked 15 and sometimes 35, sometimes I would look like Anime, and other times I would look like an starstruck Liz Hurley....but it was all good. I played dress up a lot as a little girl...so I guess I had a lot of practice when it came time to start W O R K I N!

WTF????

2009-01-28T17:50:00.000-08:00

Oh, my good lord....I just realized that I have all but abandoned this blog. TWO MONTHS since my last post? Now that is just scandalous. I must admit that life has been insane, busy, immune system impairing....but I was just digging through box of old modeling pics for a career day presentation at my son's preschool and then remembered that I left you all hanging with a promise of pics from my last stint in Taipei. Well....wait no longer. Tomorrow will deliver those hot as hell shots to ya!

Muah!

The Perfect Cup of Tea

2008-11-06T10:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, I just had to post about this great cup of tea I just made myself. I am a little bit in awe because ever since the last time I was in Asia which was several years ago, I have been trying to emulate the kind of milky tea that I would always binge on in Asian bakeries from Tokyo to Taipei. The first time I had this kind of tea was with my Brazilian roommate in Osaka in a bakery where I got asked if I wanted tea with lemon or "hotto milku tea". I love my tea with cream and sugar so I went for the latter and loved every drop of it.....And after years of trying to get that mix right and failing every time....this morning I did it. I swear that first mouthful took me straight back to the bakery in Shinsaibashi.....sigh......

I Know I Promised....

2008-10-29T14:10:00.000-07:00

I know I'm supposed to have some terribly embarrassing shots of me on here from my season in Taipei....and some pretty good ones too! LOL! I've been caught red handed in busy-ville as well as have started a new blog to ride alongside this one called
"Model Mom Diaries" which you can check out at:

http://modelmomdiaries.blogspot.com

Give me till the end of the week to scan in the pictures I promised....They really will show up on here! ;)

Hello and Welcome!

2008-10-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

LOL! Seriously though....I have had some new readers come through and I want to make sure you all know to go to the very beginning of this blog...archives are on the right hand side.....so that this all makes more sense! Peacocks on Leashes is a memoir of my experiences so nothing is current, yet....someday I hope to get up to what is happening LIVE! ;)

Channeling Jack Kerouac

2008-09-30T13:57:00.001-07:00

This has to be one of the best journal entries to describe how I felt every time I left a market and moved on to another for season....judging from the date on this entry it was written probably in the limo ride to the airport as I was leaving Taipei:

Maybe it's a curse of my Gemini nature, my Cuban blood, my impetuosity that makes me fall so easily in love with the places that temporarily become my home and the people that for a brief instance in time become my world. And maybe it is a blessing....making my life a mad existance...but I wouldn't have it any other way.

(It's pretty apropo that I would have then gone on to quote Jack Kerouac...)

"What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing?--it's the too huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies."
-J. Kerouac "On the Road"

No better quote had ever been written to describe my life at the time. Reading it now still gives me the chills and makes me ache for the road....

On Leaving Taipei

2008-09-23T13:22:00.000-07:00

Another peek into my travel journal at the end of season in Taipei.....

4/30

...so here I am again...on the verge of moving on once more. I leave Taipei, Taiwan tomorrow. I served my time here and survived. 8 weeks of madness and I've lived to tell the tale. Although I came here searching for what I always like to call my proverbial pot of gold, I can say that the memories I Take from this place & the people I have met are absolutely priceless.

Taipei...so often dubbed the infernal metropolis by many a model that has suffered through its endless castings, 200 cut days, and the infamous, pose, pose, pose routines....is actually a city I quite love. I have spent, in accumulation of my trips, 5 months in this city with its mad, confused, labyrinthine streets, its neverending din of traffic and human voices, its aliveness in extreme. I have found the people here to be genuine, the food (which is everywhere) good enough to merit my abandoning all ambitions towards waifdom, the culture so rich, so haunting...and all of this has become completely familiar to me now.

I have learned to speak & understand more Mandarin than I ever would have dreamt possible, have rubbed elbows with Taiwanese, celebs and mafiosos...all colorful characters, all enriching my life in one way or antoher, and have made friends that I hope to keep...such as my boys from the Westside that I came to meet in Taipei and my 5 new girls. Together my girls and I bonded in our estrogen enhanced mood swings...never have so many boxes of Kleenex been gone through or more McDonald's meals been consumed in such a short period of time. And now it's all over. Just like that.

The good times I have had here definitely outweigh the bad. So...now it's time to move on and start all over somewhere else. In my case, Milan.

No more fearing for my life every time I get in a taxi & commence the wild ride to castings or bookings dodging stray dogs, children and entire families on mopeds at speedracer velocity. No more enduring the incessant bombardment of N'Sync and Backstreet Boys at every internet cafe, convenience store and fast food joint. No more late night runs to 7-11 for hot dogs and tuna triangles. No more bubble milk tea. The things I am going to be missed, soon to be replaced but not forgotten by, wild nights at Hollywood, Gasoline and Old Fashion Cafe, lazy days in the sun at Parco Sempione, late night runs to the 24 hour panini stands, and endless miles to be tread on dirt encrusted feet to castings. La vita e veramente bella!

And it's good-bye to Taipei....and I thank this city and all I've met here for adding to my lessons learned in the school of life.

Being Fierce With Blow-Up Accesories

2008-09-09T14:04:00.000-07:00

I've gotten my scanner reconfigured so I can scan some new and ever delicious tearsheets from my second season in Taipei. I have some truly classic ones too....everything from more cheesy teen couture to getting fierce in polyester ladies' fashion while posing on blow-up furniture to downright scary goth punk. You name it, I did it that season.....all in the name of modeling, fashion and the good ol' dinero. Stay tuned....

Find the Cuban Girl...

2008-08-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

I never realized how much tanner I was than the rest of my fellow models in Taipei until I developed this picture....

I guess this is why clients and my bookers were so concerned with my skin tone being too dark for the Chinese market....fortunately, I booked a few jobs specifically because of my tan because at the time the Brazilians were storming the market, and I mean, who didn't find Giselle's toasty skin totally hot?!

We Make Party, Yes?

2008-08-20T09:07:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like looking back at old party pics of my girls and I in various global locations to put an enormous smile on my face and a little blush on my cheeks.

Prefunking in Taipei with Smirnoff and OJ that we bought at the 7-11 across the street from our hotel always made for some interesting pictures.....and some very good times....

Charlie's Angels?

Apparently I was going through a J. Lo phase with the white bandanna.....

The Taiwanese know how to pimp out disco balls....and I know how to make myself invisible....camoflauge is hot!

Getting a VIP spanking at Room 18...

Laura Leaves and a Roach Moves In

2008-08-13T08:54:00.000-07:00

About a month into season in Taipei, things started to slow down workwise for all of us. The agency cryptically kept mentioning the economy with a shrug of their shoulders and we just kept hoping to get busy again. At this point, Laura decided she would rather be home than wasting her time abroad, and who could blame her?

We had been rooming in a tiny room, sharing a double bed and a fridge the size of a milk carton for 4 weeks. We were being promised a proper room by the hotel every other day....castings were dropping off, she had a boyfriend waiting for her at home...it was time to head back to the great white North. So, there I was saying good-bye to my friend once again. The day after she left, I found myself hanging out with Taya and Jennifer and we decided that in order to save money, I could move into their room and we'd split the rent three ways and I wouldn't be all by myself on the opposite end of the hotel. The hotel arranged to have a roll-in bed moved into a corner of their room for me to sleep in and I dragged all my crap two floors to become the third roomie.

Quarters were tight, but I was used to that, even though Taya had to climb over my bed to get out of her bed and into the bathroom. We got along famously and would laugh ourselves to sleep at night talking about castings we'd had that day or the outrageous jobs we'd just gotten done with. Everything was great until one afternoon when Taya and Jen were both working andI was home early. I was hanging out on my bed watching Chinese music videos when I noticed something move above my head out of the corner of my eye. When I looked up there was a gargantuan cockroach dangling from the AC grate, legs wiggling and trying to get back up and into the opening. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a severe roach phobia, so this was enough to put me in a panic. I called the front desk to get someone to help and no one answered so I ran down to get aide with sweat poring down my face and my heart beating at a frenetic pace. Thank God someone was there.

The desk clerk had a cleaning lady run up with me (who spoke no English) so with a bunch of arm and hand motions and eyes filled with dread I was able to tell her that there was a roach on the ceiling above my bed. She looked at me and the roach bemusedly. Laughed a little (she must've thought I was one hell of a wimpy American) and shrugged her shoulders while miming that it would go away. She started to leave and I grabbed her and basically pleaded that she removed the offender. With not a little hint of annoyance, she slowly ambled into the bathroom, grabbed some toilet paper, climbed up on my bed and nonchalantly grabbed the roach, showed it to me with its legs and feelers flailing, laughed and walked out with it. What happened to that roach after she left with it, I'll never know, nor do I care. What I am glad about is that I never again saw one of those buggers in our room again....although from that point on I had to do a full room and bed check every night before going to sleep. Paranoia.....

I Can Spell M-O-D-E-L.

2008-08-06T13:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, ok.....so I am going to up and apologize now for any and all type-o's I have made or may make. I am normally posting with one hand while creating detailed Play-Doh sculptures with the other hand for my preschooler, and while bouncing my toddler up and down on my knees. So, I truly can spell....and really well at that. My problem here is the multitasking aspect of things.

I remember when multitasking entailed pouring a glass of vodka and cran in the VIP of some club or another while smiling brilliantly......sigh.....

Model Tourists

2008-08-05T07:51:00.001-07:00

When you model abroad you are usually too busy doing castings and working to actually get to be a tourist. Although I always did a lot of on location bookings, I never really got to enjoy my surroundings in an exploratory way. Just kind of got to look out van windows or peer around doorways into courtyards and alleyways in between hair and make-up changes, but that was it. Meeting Jeffrey and his friends in Taipei made it so that we got to enjoy the perks of being tourists which really opened our eyes to the beauty of Taiwan beyond the bustling Taipei city limits.

On a Sunday during season that we all had booking-free, Jeffrey and Marcus talked us into taking a train out to the coastal town of Tamshui. It was a beautiful, peaceful hamlet where we got to eat the freshest seafood I had ever had to date, and where every female had to rush up and stop us to take pictures with Jeffrey. I have a shot somewhere of all of us posing with a group of about 8 or 9 teens as giddy as all get out. It was rad.

So....here we are in Tamshui....eating and blowing bubbles. The only things worth doing in life, eh? ;)

Peacock Virgins

2008-08-01T19:44:00.000-07:00

Helllloooooo dahlings! Just wanted to throw out a note to all the newbies checking out my blog that this is a collection of my memoirs.....I am not actually in the places I am writing about currently. I am living in Portland, Oregon, bored off of my ass and reliving my life as a traveling fashion model by way of my writing.

So if you want this all to make much more sense just go waaaaaaaay back to the first entries on this blog (you can find my archives somewhere on the right hand side......) It'll be worth the hours you'll spend reading it.....really. :)

Hanging With Taiwanese Rockstars

2008-07-17T08:48:00.000-07:00

I have to say that this particular trip to Taipei was the best one yet....but for some reason I didn't keep much written record about it. I have tons of pictures but only 2 journal entries so I really am going to have to rely on the old gray matter to remember what exactly went on. I think I was so busy with work and play that I just had no time to pull out pen and paper and journalize everything...now I wish I had! Let me preface real quick by naming names. Laura and I ended up meeting the rest of the FMI girls who all became fast friends....Taya, Jennifer, and Olivia...there were others that we hung out with from another agency, but these three were our main girls.....partners in living la vida...

One of the things that made this trip so amazing was that one night my friends and I were partying at Room 18 which was a hot new club at Warner Village in Taipei. We had just gotten done working at a fashion show and arrived at the club only to find out that it was full to capacity because DJ Scratch was there and everyone in town wanted to be there. This was a veritable quandry, since I had been so used to VIP treatment and never having to wait for entry to any club....so we sulked as models can do ever so well, until we were approached by a guy named Jeff who introduced himself in perfect English although he was Taiwanese (but born and raised in LA I later found out!) and made the velvet ropes part so that we could get in.

Jeff ended up becoming one of best friends in Taiwan that season. He was California cool but also knew all the ins and outs of being a local in Taipei since his family also lived there part time. Thanks to him, my girls and I got to dine at some of the best restaurants, hang out at the hottest clubs du jour and just have a great time hanging out in general. It also turned out that Jeff was something of a celebrity in Asia. He had been part of a boy band called LA Boyz who were to Asia what the Backstreet Boys were to the States. Pretty much everywhere we went with Jeff, we would get mobbed by young girls with cameras and giggles. It was a trip. We also got to meet his brother Stanley who was also a recording artist and their friends, Jae a music producer and Vanness who is now a megastar in Asia....actually, they all are. They're part of a crew that goes by MACHI.

Crazy thing about meeting Vanness in Taipei is that later we found out that we had both been raised in Santa Monica and went to the same grade school there.....we had played in the playground at the same time but ended up meeting decades later in Taiwan.

So, yeah....this season in Taipei we got to hang out with official rockstars. They treated us like queens, were nothing but gentlemen, sweet, generous, and respectful. One of the best group of guys I've had the pleasure to meet in my life. Along with one of Jeff's friends, Marcus whom we later met because he was crushin' on Jen, they were our entourage and we were theirs. Thanks to them we got to see the city in a whole new light and it was GREAT.

The Ol' Roomie Reunite

2008-06-24T13:54:00.000-07:00

So, the day after I got to Taipei, I walked into the agency and there was Laura! My roommate from my last season there. It was like no time had passed. We had kept in touch via phone calls while we were gone, and it was just so nice to see another familiar face in a strange land.

Now, I'm sure I've already touched on my past with Laura, but I always think it is so cool when it comes to mind, so I am gonna tell you again. I first laid eyes on Laura in a tram in Milan my first season there. She had an Elite book and headphones on and I remembered thinking how she was the quintessential model. Tall, perfect bone structure and elegant. Then a few weeks later I ran into her again at a casting for a hair magazine. We exchanged greetings but that was it. It wasn't until several months later that we would run into each other again halfway around the world in Taiwan where we became roommates and fast friends. This proved the point that although there are millions of would be models out there who say they are actually "models" the ones that are truly working their craft travel in a small circle. I can't tell you how many times I would run into other models I knew or at least recognized from castings in the most random markets. One day in Milan, the next in Miami and then again in Hong Kong. Crazy!

Laura and I were so happy to be back in a country and city we loved and ready to take it by storm. We packed into a taxi with another model and our manager and set off that first day on a bevy of castings and ladyposed our butts off. Later that evening we decided we had to be roommates again and combined all of our crap into a tiny shoebox of a room since we were told that all the doubles were occupied and the fun began! Two days into this trip and I knew it was going to kick ass!

Coppertoning It In Taipei

2008-06-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

So, once again, I found myself packing my bags, bidding tearful farewells to my friends, pulling out my passport and boarding pass and deplaning thousands of miles away in Taipei.

I had been to Taiwan before, so now I could consider myself a veteran. I knew where to go and what to do at the airport. I walked from my gate pulling my obscenely heavy carry-on bags past miles of hallways through the terminal that were covered in advertisements and I kept count of which ones I thought I could probably book while there. I went through customs, found my driver holding up my name in Chinese and English on a card. He put my bags in the trunk of his shiny, black Lincoln Towncar and we were off....back to the First Hotel.

I stared out the car window at the mystery and tumult that is Taipei and even though I had been in Miami just hours before, I felt myself start to get ready and excited for this new season in Asia. When I got to the hotel, I checked in and the people at the front desk actually remembered me from the last time I had been there. They were kind, courteous and all smiles as they told me where my room was, handed me my key and about 6 faxes from my booker asking if I had arrived yet and I was off to my little pad. The bellhop trudged up with all my accoutrements....poor guy, my suitcase was bigger than him...and as he left he told me I looked just like Britney Spears. Even though I should have been tremendously offended, I knew by the super happy grin on his face that he meant it to be the utmost accolade, so I tipped him well, closed the door and passed out on my rock hard mattress.

The next morning I made it to the agency, group hugs and reintroductions ensued and not a second too soon I was told that I needed to maybe try to make my skin less tanned. After almost 4 months in Miami there was no way I was about to look Geisha chic.....so I smiled, said "no problem" and hit the casting circuit with my manager and a couple of new girls that would become really great friends in no time. Taya, Olivia and Jen. Things were good already....and only to get better since my roommate from my first trip to Taipei, Laura, was to arrive the next day!

More Cheese & Sex from Miami

2008-05-29T11:10:00.000-07:00

And here is a sampling of just a few of the tearsheets I got from that season in Miami. Once again, the Dutch, German and French clients cast me as a teen queen and the Italian and Spanish clients interpreted me as something of a Lolita....

For your viewing pleasure....ha!

Modeling Too Much!

2008-05-16T23:07:00.001-07:00

Wow, I am super slacker when it comes to posting on here lately! I've just all of a sudden started booking photoshoots locally and am starting to put together a completely new book....I've been wanting to get back out there for direct bookings since I can't actually travel long term anymore (becoming a mom put a halt to that!) and this new work I'm doing is hopefully going to help with that! So coupled with my writing assignments, Peacocks on Leashes has suffered a bit....but I am anxious to get back on here. Don't give up on the Peacocks just yet.....they'll be back fully plumed by next week. I have heaps of stuff I need to scan and post on here, because I know everyone is just dying to see my German magazine tearsheets. Fabulosity.....

And Yet Another Journal Entry from Miami...

2008-05-04T19:31:00.001-07:00

Here are my musings at the thought of leaving Miami and heading back over to Taipei for season....

2/26

So I just found out that I'll be heading back to Taipei in a few weeks. Although the prospect of going back to Asia and making money is exciting, I'm starting to feel a heaviness in my heart knowing that before I know it, these past 4 months that I have spent in South Beach will soon be nothing more than a series of memories and pictures in an album.

The apartment that I have come to call home, the streets and faces that have once again become all too familiar, the sea and sand I look at daily from my window and that I have come to take for granted, the friends, my adoptive family members, that I have known since last season, brought with me from Milan, or just newly met...these are the ties that bind me, that cause that all too familiar feeling of infinite sadness when I allow myself to realize how soon they and it all will be taken away from me. That torturous process of being a traveling model. Bittersweet life.

South Beach once again will remain a most vivid and beautiful place in my memories.

********

I have to say, that when people ask me what the hardest part of being a model is, I really can't tell them stories about awful perverted photographers trying to coke me up, or rape me. I dont have stories like that, thank God....but the worst and hardest part for me was being uprooted from "homes" and missing my friends. Friends that I miss to this very day. I have yet to make friends that were as close to me as those friends I made while I was traveling.

Miami Inked....

2008-04-14T09:48:00.000-07:00

Actually it was more like Miami Pierced. For a while I had toyed with the idea of doing something a little more drastic than just cutting my hair. Even though I love a good tatt on a hot guy, the idea of inking myself has never been all that attractive to me besides the fact that in the Asian markets at the time I was working them shunned models with body art. Naval rings kinda piqued my curiosity for a while but then just seemed too stripper to me (or moronic Sorority girl) so I took that off of the list of possibilities. But I was bound & determined to figure out something...and thanks to my roomie, Paul, we figured out that tongue rings were the coolest thing and my mind was made up.

Paul and I both decided to get our tongues pierced one night during a dinner convo. He told me that once I got mine done, it was cool and didn't kill too much he would get his done too, so the next day I went to a tattoo/piercing shop with Jackie to hold my hand through it and did the deed. The funny thing is that the parlor I went to was called something like "New Age Tattoo and Piercing" and was located where Ami has his shop now (Miami Ink....in case ya didn't know....). The other funny thing is that I remember partying with Ami long before he became super hot famous thanks to his show (which I love by the way...). But I digress...so Jackie took me in, I signed all my disclaimers and convinced the piercer that I was over 18, he sat me down on the chair, grabbed my tongue with his hand (not pliers or anything else) and pierced. It barely hurt. He then told me not to eat any solids for a few days, drink liquour or give oral sex (after which he added, "unless it's for me"....cheeky bugger) and I was on my way.

Walking back to the apartment we ran into Paul playing volleyball with some other models and he freaked out that I had actually gone through with it, loved it, but ended up chickening out in the end. Ha!

That night, like the well behaved girl I was, I followed my instructions from the piercer to a T. I did not give anyone oral sex (not even him), but I went out to Living Room with my friends, drank, went home, woke up to go to Volleypalooza the next day, drank a little more and ate a sub sandwich by shoving pieces of it towards the back of my mouth and chewing with my head tilted so as not to disturb my healing tongue.

It healed well despite my lack of obedience and I was officially a rebel. Heh!

Rotating Roomies

2008-04-08T09:10:00.000-07:00

And as aways happens when you're traveling and starting to make that crazy, almost instant sibling-like bond with your roommates, one or more of them get called away to different markets or just back to the normalcy of their homes.

Sometime around the middle of February, Amber had to head home to Portland, and Kari (who was day by day growing out of wanting to model anymore) left for greener pastures in Seattle where she would start going back to school. Ned moved out and into a house with Tyler and some other models and Paul and I were left in the Decoplage. While trying to figure out how we were gonna split the massive rent on our own, the heavens parted and a new roommate came our way.

During lunch poolside at the Delano, Neil and Cormac introduced me to Miyuki who had just arrived and needed a place to stay. Cormac asked if I had room at my place, and the rest is history. Miyuki moved in and became fast friends with Paul and I . She turned out to be a fantastic person to live with and a wonderful friend. Her outer beauty was only surpassed by her inner beauty. So nice, thoughtful....and could party with the best of us. The rest of the season had us going to castings together, dining at Pearl with Neil, Cormac and friends, and partying at Nikki Beach. The good life continued for a few more weeks and I was taking it all in because by mid March I would be off to Taipei again for another 2 months. (This, of course, meant that I would be maniacally slathering myself with the highest SPF possible at all times....a tan in the Asian markets was not a good thing and I was already looking a little too burnt toasty.....)

More Model Mayhem from Miami

2008-03-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

Just a little pictorial of some of the good times had in Miami that season. Good friends, good places to hang out, good eats, life does not get better than that.

Yes,that really was Pauly Shore.

My Model Boy Shout Out

2008-03-16T08:54:00.000-07:00

Looking at the previous post about my NYE in Miami back in the day made me really think about how great of friends I had back then. Many of them are very much still in my life thanks to email and Facebook, but none of us live in the same city, save for Amber and I miss these old modeling days friends like crazy.

That being said, I have to dedicate this post (aka give a shout out) to my boy Jean-Paul. From the moment we met we became instant friends. He was always brutally honest with me about everything and was always sincere. We could tell each other things most friends keep to themselves. He has heard of and met many of the skeletons in my closet and I know several of his. No matter where in the world I'd be, JP would always call me up just to give me a shot of confidence and a smile. I remember one time sitting at a casting in Milan while he was in Miami and I was having a craptastic day when I got a call from him and he said something to me that I will never forget. He said "Telling a girl she is the most gorgeous girl in the world is crazy. There really isn't such thing, but you I want you to know that you are one of the most gorgeous girls in the world." That was all I needed to change my energy that day. I didn't book the job I was at the casting for, but I knew that out there in the world I had one hell of an amazing friend. I miss that boy. My baby bro.

New Year's Eve-ing Like a Rockstar

2008-02-20T10:17:00.001-08:00

Rather than try to dig up a really accurate account of this amazing night, I am gonna lift my story straight out of my travel journal...far more to the point and in the moment that way. Not that I was so lambasted that I don't remember what actually happened, because I do remember....even though I was lambasted....but anyways, journals are always far more to the point...so here we go...

1/1/2001

A new year. Wow.

I had the most amazing New Year's eve last night. JP came over and 8 and we started drinking and watching "Half Baked", then we put on some CD's and started dancing around the living room like two little kids having the time of their lives. Around 10 we decided to walk down Ocean Drive. There was so much energy. People everywhere, everyone happy and partying. Totally drunk on life and liquid. We walked all the way over to Nikki Beach and JP and I got into Linley's party free because Paul was working the door. We got to ring in the new year with champagne toasts on the sand getting rained on by the snow machines. It was beautiful. Then we walked back to my place to meet up with Ned, Pauly and Tyler who had been working at a party in Naples and continued our drunken festivities. We bonded so much last night. Me and my little crew. Too much fun. I am gonna miss these boys when season is over. Miss them like crazy.

JP and I at the Nikki Beach NYE party:

Little me and two more model girls...I feel like an ass, but I don't remember their names....

Linley! Good friend and host of the party...

NYE throngs on Ocean Drive....pura vida...

Coming Up.....

2008-02-14T08:19:00.000-08:00

I have been hit with a nasty cold and am about to fall asleep on my laptop...but stay tuned for my next post with pictures. New Year's Eve in Miami. To date that was the best NYE I've ever had.....God, what I wouldn't do to teleport myself back to that moment. Totally beats the post nasal drip, crusty eyed craparific time I am having right now....

More Middle Model Musings from Miami

2008-02-07T08:40:00.001-08:00

The sea breezes and sunshine definitely made for some introspective moments during this particular season in Miami. Here are some musings from a model mind while waxing & waning philosophical:

12/29

We think ourselves to be so grandiose. In our own eyes our lives seem to be the center of the Universe. Everything revolving around us, when in fact we are merely an infinitesimal speck in the grand scheme of things. Our impact on the world, with the exception of a few astounding individuals, is so minor that if we were to disappear tomorrow, everything would continue on as usual...the earth would continue to pulse, grow, nourish all those still existing on her surface. We would be a mere memory in the minds of the few we allowed into our guarded worlds while we were still gifted with the breath of life.

12/30

The year 2000 is almost over. The first year I learned to truly live, to come alive. The memories of the past 12 months overwhelm me. How much have I changed, I wonder? Am I a better person? Worse? Perhaps both? I won't attempt to seek an answer to these questions. You can only dig so deep into your psyche before uncovering strains of madness. Whatever, whoever I am or have become, needs to learn to grow more comfortable in her own skin. Comfortable in my own skin...I wonder, does anyone truly, wholly, learn to do that? One is always growing, expanding...can you harness your spirit to flesh? Perhaps what I need to do is take comfort in knowing that I will never truly know myself.

*******

Yeah.....models can get pretty deep. Funny how you never see or hear any talk about this kind of stuff on any of the modeling reality shows that are taking over TV. Modeling makes you realize how insecure you really are. It hands you a life of glamour and luxury, breaks you down to nothing, hands you some more glamour, breaks you down again, then takes you back up to incredible heights. Roller coaster ride. Welcome to Model Mountain. Keep your arms and legs in the car at all times. You'll need them to book work.

But at Least We Got a Good Shot....Kinda

2008-01-29T08:13:00.000-08:00

In recompense for the fact that we shot for free and ended up actually paying for jeans we would never wear, we got some pretty decent shots for our book. Here is one of them:

Prior to post, Kari was actually climbing a chair that was upturned on the floor but it got edited out for whatever reason, I don't know why. So, although I think we look good and the dresses (I wish we had bought those instead of the jeans...but the designer was asking $300 a pop) are beautiful, it kind of looks like I am smelling my friend's flatulence with a look of consternation on my face. Still like the picture though! Fart-chic.

Get Drunk & Buy Clothes

2008-01-23T10:36:00.000-08:00

Since Kari and I both had shorter hair and most of the girls in Miami for the season had long locks, we ended up booking quite a few jobs together. One of them was for an up & coming local designer who had moved to South Beach from Milan and was looking for two girls to represent her Spring/Summer collection. She chose (insert drumroll here) Kari and I.

Since the designer was new we agreed to work pro bono in exchange for tearsheets and what we hoped might be some free clothes. The photographer, Baruch, was well known in NY and Miami, so getting good pics was a sure thing therefore worth working for no money. The shoot took place in the Penthouse of the Decoplage which meant we just had to take the elevator up to our location. Loved that!

Once on set we got made up by an amazing make-up artist and got to work with the designer on what outfits would look best on us. We got fed an amazing lunch and then the bottles of red wine were brought out and even though neither Kari or I had ever drunk on set before, the atmosphere of this shoot was very casual and the client insisted that we partake in the vino. So we did. Slightly buzzed we started shooting and got some incredible images. At the end of the shoot the client started declaring that the we looked incredible in our last outfits and we needed to have them. "Ok, cool. We guessed this meant we would get to keep our very expensive designer duds....well, we were right....kinda.

Being as we were halfway tipsy we somehow ended up BUYING our outfits from the designer. Not only did she insist that we HAD to have our outfits, but she also insisted that we pay for them. Since local boutiques were selling her jeans for over $200 we'd be passing up a great deal if we didn't break down and pay $100 for them. 50% off...great deal, huh?!

Yeah....not so great of a deal when the next day we looked at our purchases and realized we would nenver in hell wear them out of the house. WHile they looked great through rose tinted glasses and on a perfectly lit set with rockstar hair & make-up....the glittered and paint splashed denim just made us look a little too retro 80's before retro 80's became cool. I don't know what Kari did with her jeans, but I ended up having to cart them to Milan and Taiwan with me after my season in Miami ended only to leave them at Goodwill a year later.

Moral of the story: Never drink while shooting. Even two glasses of red may leave you $100 poorer and richer one pair of god-awful trousers.

Getting Paid to Go to Heaven

2008-01-15T20:49:00.000-08:00

A little over a month into season I got a call early in the morning from my booker at Elite to ask if I was available to go to the Bahamas to shoot the next day. What? Am I available? And was I supposed to answer "no" at any given time? There is not much in this world that would have caused me to decline spending a day on a Caribbean beach and getting paid handsomely just to frolic in sand & sea while being photographed. So, of course, and half asleep, I said that I was indeed available and the next day I woke up at 4 am, got picked up by the clients in a van, drove to the airport, boarded the sardine can with wings that was our plane, and spent the next 10 hours in the Bahamas on a perfect beach, with perfect weather and several beautiful co-workers shooting for a delightful Irish client.

I have to add though,that looking down from the plane mid air and seeing another tiny plane laying destroyed in the jungles underneath us was a bit disconcerting. But landing on a tiny airstrip with a miniscule airport and being greeted by the lovely and very warm Bahamian staff who took it upon themselves to escort us to an even tinier cafe for breakfast made up for the panic attack I had in the sky.

And here it is...heaven on earth.....and definitely one of those days I just knew I had the best job on earth:

(De plane! De plane!)

(The clients unpacking the equipment & wardrobe from the boat we took to the Bahamian island we were shooting on...)

(Juliette and I in between shots....oh God, I was so tan then....*sigh*)

(Photographer & male model in action...)

(Yeah...gorgeous. And pictures do this place no justice...)

And on Another Bad Day in Miami....

2008-01-09T20:06:00.000-08:00

Apparently I had more than one bad day, or just plain introspective day, while in Miami that season....because here is yet another pity soiree I captured in my journal. I can remember why I was inspired to write this, even though looking back I smirk at myself thinking how thin skinned I still was at that point in my career.

I wrote this entry after going to a fashion show casting for a swimwear designer who had all of us boys & girls line up in our bikinis (board shorts for the guys, with a random speedo thrown in here and there) and walked up and down in front of us with extremely loud critiques about all of our bodies. The comment I got this particular day was "I love your body but your knees are really big." Ok, so was I supposed to say "thanks" to the first half and "what the f***k do you mean by big knees?" to the last half? But I kept my mouth shut and smiled emptily as did everyone else who got shade thrown at them for being less than perfect.

12/19

I'm so tired of being perceived as the vacuous, pretty little thing. I'm not that. There's so much more to me. Self confidence & esteem are not my forte. I don't let everyone see that though. I don't know how to keep my chin up when I'm working as a piece of meat. Modeling, albeit at times devastatingly glamorous, is also painfully humbling. Always too something...too short, too young, too old, too skinny, too fat, too pale, too dark. I'm tired of never being perfect enough even though I belong to this "elite" group of mannequins....the clan of the beautiful people. We are hired, paid and hailed for being as close to perfect as humanly possible yet we are constantly scrutinized & dissected. Perfection is not perfect enough. Go figure.

I want to immerse myself in something I can grow & develop in. I want to write, use my brain, be passionate about something intellectually stimulating. I want to surround myself with other wanderers in the soul search. If I meet one more underaged, vapid, egocentric waif I think I may just spontaneously combust. There's only so much more of the "Oh my God I am so fat, I have a zit, my nails aren't shiny enough, is he/she better looking than me" laden conversations that I can take. All the bullshit.

This career is so fleeting. It caters to the youth and the youth obsessed. Good times...yeah. Travels....yeah. Adventures...hell yeah. I don't regret the memories. Man, all I've done and experienced goes beyond words. Just this Saturday I got paid an insane amount of money to play on a beach in the Bahamas. Tough. But are there greener pastures?

"Could you wanna take my picture, cuz I won't remember..." --Filter

*********************

Of course this moment of fleeting mental anguish (LOL!) was nothing more than just that....fleeting. Because lord knows I kept getting bookings (even with my so-called gargantuan knees) and kept traveling. In my perception the Industry's goods definitely outweighed the bads and well....as of today I'm still a part of this world. Yeah. I'm in it til they force me to retire baby.

Upcoming Attractions.....

2008-01-08T14:39:00.000-08:00

One of my 2008 resolutions is to get back to posting on here a couple of times a week at least....and I plan to stick to it. I gotta get out all these memories before my brain cobwebs over and I forget everything! LOL!

More model mayhem to ensue!!!

Oh Boo-Hoo Little Model Girl....

2007-12-16T19:54:00.000-08:00

The more I read back into my old travel journals from my modeling days, the more I tend to shake my head at myself and wonder why or how on earth I could possibly have found anything to wax and wane discontent about. I was living "pura vida" in every sense of the world....my only real responsibilities besides making sure my student loans were getting paid, were to figure out where I was gonna travel to next, and to remain looking somewhat pleasing to the photographic lenses. But apparently I was dealing with some inner nostalgic turmoil at the time because during Season 2 in South Beach I came up with this pity soiree:

12/9

I have recently come to the conclusion and am coming to terms with the fact that you cannot relive the magic of a moment. You cannot go back to a place and expect everything to be as you left it. The memories you have made will forever be memories.

I have experienced so many amazing moments in 2000 with my first season in Miami and my unforgettable 4 months in Milan. I need to learn to appreciate those memories I made rather than wallow in the melancholy and deep nostalgia that always seem to ensue whenever I look at pictures or hear a song that reminds me of Milan or Miami last season.

I lived to the fullest extent possible for 8 straight months, experienced and did things the majority of people can only dream about, if even that. I thank God for all those blessings, yet a sadness still fills me, perhaps because I so badly want to go back & relive but I know I can't. What am I doing? I'm surrounded by friends here, making new memories every day. Why the torment? Do I need more out of life? The perpetual soul search is my curse.

*******

Oh, have mercy. Poor, little model girl.....I mean, I know those feelings that I wrote about at the time were genuine. I was tormented obviously. But come on. When I look back at those days it was all glitz, fun, and travel....oh lord....travel....how I miss it. I was surrounded by my best friends! What on earth was I whining about! Here I sit in Portland in gloomy-ass weather with only 2 people I can call close friends in town...both of which I rarely see because we are all so busy and are MOMS which is the BUSIEST CRAZIEST job ever. *Sigh* I really had nothing to complain about in retrospect. But, then again, when you have the kind of life that I did then, you kinda have to find something to cry about otherwise it would all seem too good to be true.

Busy Girl

2007-11-30T10:27:00.000-08:00

Yep...I've been absent again. My new agency in Portland has been keeping me busy with pre-holiday fashion shows so I am too tired and outta time to stop in and continue with my chronicles for now. I mean, have mercy, I haven't even set up Christmas cards or bought gifts yet! But give me another week and I'll be back to posting those good ol' "middle model" stories.

And if you are just now stopping by and are a P.O.L. virgin.....dig back into my archives so you can start reading my memoirs from the beginning....this crazy blog will make much more sense that way! (I still have people asking if I am currently in South Beach...and although I would love the answer to be a resounding "yes", this girl is now a mom of two and not going away for long seasons anywhere....direct bookings, yes, seasons, not so much.)

Baci a tutti!

Stock Photography Made Me Famous

2007-11-21T21:19:00.000-08:00

Well, kinda....

One of the bookings I got on this particular season in Miami was for an international stock photography giant. I shot for two days with the team in locations ranging from hotel lobbies, to all white seamless sets and tropical Floridian beaches. Some shots were solo and some in groups or with a guy and all were pretty fresh, fun.....the typical "Look at me, I looooove being alive!" kind of stuff. Cheese, and well, I can do cheese.

For industry outsiders, I have to explain what stock photography is. Stock is when a series of different people, locations, items, stills, etc, are shot and them put up for sale for clients of major and minor companies alike to choose from. In essence, these companies/clients can browse through the on-line catalogs of any number of stock photography companies to choose and purchase a shot that best sells their product, be it a rose petal with an artfully placed drop of dew on it, or a couple jumping in the air while eating a slice of pizza. This type of shot saves companies tons of money since they don't have to pay for an entire photoshoot themselves. Stock works great for the clients but for the models....well.....the money is nice for the amount of work you do, but when you start seeing yourself everywhere you start adding up what you could have potentially made had you been hired for each and every client that is using your images. And that can get depressing.

So, back to my story....I shot my ass off, had a blast, got paid and that was that. Or so I thought. Starting at about 6 months after I did this shoot up until about a year ago I started getting phone calls and emails from family & friends all over the world telling me that they had seen me on billboards, magazines, store window displays, brochures and magazine ads. When describing what I was doing in these shots (and I even got some sent to me by a couple of friends) I knew instantly that these ads had all been bought from the stock compilation that I had shot.

I was seen on billboards for Spain's Tourism Board in Amsterdam, billboards in the Canary Islands for a resort, had a huge window display on the East Coast for Sprint PCS, ended up on the cover of a Circuit City weekly flyer as well as a flyer for Adelphia Cable (which I believe is now part of Comcast, holy monopoly) had large ads up in most major American airports for a Caribbean tourism campaign, appeared on a billboard in Mexico for God knows what (my friend was driving back to California from Tijuana and saw my billboard) and even ended up in a half page ad at the back of Cosmopolitan magazine for ...oh God, I can't believe I am gonna divulge this to the world.....KY Jelly. Yeah....that one was mortifying beyonds words. There I was shooting on a beach with a male model, super cheesy smiles plastered on our faces.....little did we know we would end up in an ad for a personal lubricant. Have mercy.

So, yeah, with the amount of billboards and ads I got out of this job I should technically be both rich and famous. But, alas, it was just stock....and therefore I just got my normal day rate and the titillation of hearing a friend halfway across the world tell me she had just seen me on a huge billboard. *sigh*

The Hilfiger Show Casting

2007-11-08T20:20:00.001-08:00

A few weeks into season, I was called to go on what sounded like a really good, not-to-miss casting. I was told that I was to meet at the penthouse suite of one of the beach's luxe high rise buildings for a "Hilfiger Show Casting". Okay, cool.

Being as I am not the de rigeour 5'9" for fashion shows, I was beside myself at having been requested for this casting. For non industry folk let me explain a little bit...castings come in two flavors....request and cattle call. Request castings entail your agency presenting a package of comps to a client out of which the client chooses exactly who they want to see, tossing the rest of the cards into a dumpster, yadda yadda....cattle calls are when a client really has no idea what they are looking for and see everyone in town. Then there are go-sees, etc. but I won't bore you with all those details. So, anyways, this was a request casting and of course for Hilfiger so I sure as hell was not going to miss it.

I show up at the casting where there's a group of about 20 other girls and quickly realize that no one is taking the time to look at our books, polaroid us, nothing. We kind of hang around this amazing apartment, taking in the views, shooting the Scheiss. Then a couple of men walk in the room, start conversing about nothing in particular, one of the men being Tommy Hilfiger's nephew or son or something like that...can't quite remember. He had the total rockstar outfit and demeanor although to this day I have yet to hear that he is or was involved in any kind of real musical endeavor...

After about 15-20 minutes one of the other models asked if they wanted to take one of her comp cards. She had to leave to go to another appointment, at which time one of the men said that he wanted to take down our names and numbers to be invited to a party later that week. Okay, WHAT? So...this casting, although attended by one of the members of the Hilfiger clan was not a casting for a Hilfiger show...rather we were kind of putting on the show by just being there. So weird. I never said anything to my agency. It wasn't a creepy vibe just totally random and (oh god, I think his name was Michael) young Hilfiger dude was actually really nice so we hung out for a few more minutes then all egressed back to our ever important lives on the beach.

Never a dull moment.

The only good thing I got from this casting was this breathtaking panoramic view of SoBe:

Vodka, Jell-O and Charlie's Angels

2007-11-02T19:08:00.000-07:00

One of my most memorable nights that season in Miami was the night Kari, Amber and I morphed into Charlie's Angels for no apparent reason.

Ned and Paul were out either partying or working or playing volleyball and us girls were left alone in the apartment. For some reason there just happened to be a box of strawberry Jell-O in the kitchen and a bottle of raspberry flavored vodka in the freezer and we had no plans for the evening. Kari and I mixed the two and let it do its thing in the fridge in a huge Pyrex bowl.

Amber, being the responsible one and also not having been fully introduced into the madness that had become "normal" to Kari and I, had already showered, put on her pj's and was ready for a comfortable night hanging out at home watching the thimble sized TV we had in the bedroom. The TV in the living room, which was an awesome faux wood encased floor relic only got one or two channels....so we were relegated to watching all TV, and rented movies on a 12 inch screen. By the time Amber was fully in relaxation mode, Kari and I pulled the bowl of sinful delight from the fridge and pranced around the living/dining room with it as if it were mana or some other such nectar of the gods. Amber was in trouble and she knew it.

(Bubble, bubble, toil & trouble....a witch's brew being presented to Amber.....and have mercy....I look like the Joker with Beethoven's haircut in this shot....)

So, wet hair, pj's and all she was coerced into sitting at the dining room table with us as we spoonful by spoonful emptied the entire bowl of vodka jello. You can imagine that by this time we are all warm & fuzzy and ready to be anywhere but in the confines of the apartment. It being a Wednesday night we knew that there would be a great party down the street at the club formerly known as Bar Room and most, if not all, our friends would be there. So we ran to the the closet to get ready and...somehow....ended up all wearing the exact same outfit. Black turtlenecks, jeans and sneakers. Obviously the vodka was telling us that this was the cool thing to do.

At one point, one of us called Jean Paul, or maybe he called us and we invited him to join us. While waiting for him to get there so that we could go out Kari starting busting out break dance moves that will make her go down in history as America's Next Top B-Girl Model while Amber and I cranked the music and pulled our best Naomi Campbell runway impersonations. At one point, we broke out our cameras and started taking pictures of ourselves as Charlie's Angels. Poses, faces, everything. Next thing we know, JP is at the door completely sober and taking in all this girly mayhem....much to his delight. At one point we started doing jumping jacks (FULLY clothed, thank you very much) and comparing bra strength notes....why? Blame it on inebriation....thank God JP was such a cool guy.....and thank God this was before the advent of YouTube and video cameras hidden in cell phones. Have mercy.

(Kari bustin' a move.)

(JP sneaking in some glutes...Amber and I had no idea he did this until we developed the film. Durrty boy!)

So we leave, or should I say hang on JP and stumble, out of the building and walk down the street to the club. On the way some college guys in a convertible yell out props to JP for having three hot chicks hanging on him. The boy is pimp, and the fact that he was Charlie to our Angels fit him like a snug wet T-shirt. The rest of the night was a blur after we were let in past the throngs of tourists and locals trying to get in and through the velvet ropes to our tables in the VIP were then top model, Tonga was hanging out looking dreadlocked and unhappy. I know we danced. A lot. Probably reliqoured ourselves and danced some more. Then back home for general pukeage and room spins. God, I hated the room spins.....

I've never again touched jello shots since that night, nor have I pretended to be a Charlie's Angel while going out. It all seems so terribly, mortifyingly embarrassing now.....but back then, in the good ol' rockstar model days it was just another night. And fun. So very, very fun.

Schizo Modeling

2007-10-11T21:56:00.000-07:00

After a few days of acclimating to our new home (which in South Beach means going out, sunbathing, and people watching) for a few days we all took off to meet up with our respective agencies. When I walked into the Elite offices I was greeted by everyone at the booking table and given a bear hug by Cap, the director. I loved Cap. She was a no holds barred, mama bear type. If she loved you she would tell you so and if you pissed her off, same deal.

Well, after Cap and the other bookers decided on a new comp for me for the season, she turned to me and sized me up sighing "if only you were 5'9" " (believe me, that was my wish too) and then with a pat on the butt told me I was getting too skinny and to stop losing weight and get a tan. Okay, cool. That was not going to be a problem. Good food is everywhere in Miami and I was gonna partake of it with relish. Sunbathing being added to my "to do" list was also not going to be a problem. But her comment was hilarious in that just a couple of months prior I was booted out of the Land of the Rising Sun for being too corpulent...and I was actually a few pounds lighter when I was in Tokyo!

So let's do a quick recap on my thus far schizo modeling experiences:

1. Taiwan season 1 : Skin too dark. Hair not short enough...please make more funky-style.
2. Osaka: Skin too dark. Hair too short, but okay. Too skinny for some clients.
3. Miami season 1 at Karin Model Mgmt.: Too pale, get a tan. Cut hair shorter. At Elite Model Mgmt.: Nice skin tone, grow your hair out please.
4. Milan (official) season 1: Hips are fine but don't gain any weight. Un tan bellissimo! Grow your hair out very long. With long hair you will work every day. (I worked 3-4 times a week with short hair, thank you.)
5.Tokyo: Too fat, go home.
6. Miami season 2: Get a tan, don't lose any more weight! (No mention about the hair this time, but I was bound & determined to grow it out and was praying they wouldn't book me for Schwarzkopf again this season.)

Yeah....and I couldn't wait to hear what the next market I was going to after Miami was going to want me to look like.

Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder....it just sucks when the beholders all want you to look different.

More Travel Journal Exhibitionism

2007-10-02T12:53:00.000-07:00

And even though I was fully submerged into the magic of what was life as a traveling fashion model....apparently I was still very much on a soul search. Here's an entry from my travel journal from Miami Season 2:

11/27

I keep thinking how funny it is that I haven't written sooner. I've been in South Beach for a little over 2 weeks now. The paradise I've been dreaming of returning to for the past 8 months....now I'm back and I can't help but feel unsettled. The apartment is nice, I love my roommates...Kari, Ned, Amber and Paul...my little family. I've shot 2 editorials for Spanish Maxim and the cover of Irish Tattler. Three jobs in week and half, not bad, but as always, I am allowing myself to worry too much...money, work, castings, the usual.

I'm really thinking about changing my life plan in the next 12 months. Living out of a suitcase is growing far too difficult for me. I love traveling, but I am feeling the need to establish some sort of permanence in my life. I want to travel for one more year then move back to LA where I can work and live....the best of both worlds. And maybe then I'll find my other half.

(I then commence to wax & wane poetic about how ready I am to fall in love but don't want to get hurt and haven't found anyone...yadda yadda yadda...won't bore you to tears with the mushy girly bullshit.)

And then at the end of the entry I had these two quotes which I am totally diggin on again now that I've rediscovered them:

"So, every time 'they' tell you all the logical reasons why things can't be done, remember all the times 'they' have been wrong." -Bank of America commercial

"I'm never alone/I'm alone all the time" -Gavin Rossdale of Bush

I'll Be Right Back!!

2007-09-23T13:18:00.000-07:00

I just realized I haven't posted here in some weeks....dealing with some pretty bad teething by part of my baby girl (which has meant absolutely NO sleep for me) and also writing several articles for a couple of online fashion mags....anyways, busy busy busy.....

But I'll be back this week with more memoirs.....stay tuned!

Five Models in One Big Bed

2007-09-05T21:01:00.000-07:00

Before I go on with the great adventures, bookings and happenings in general that occured during this particular season in Miami, I must first describe to you the apartment that we were gonna call home for the next four months.

The month before we all converged on South Beach, I managed to track down a somewhat verklempt Long Island expat that was working as a realtor in Miami Beach. She secured a one bedroom in the Decoplage for me at a very decent rate and the keys were to be held at the concierge's desk to await our arrival. She insisted that the unit had two queen sized beds in the bedroom and two sleeper sofas in the living room. This would be perfect for the 5 of us, being models we were used to living like sardines in a can. Great, no sweat, that was easy.

When we got to SoBe and entered our apartment we were pleasantly surprised at how clean, airy and large it was for a one bedroom. We had a balcony with a great view of the beach and ocean and it was furnished with everything we would need....but upon closer inspection we discovered that the two "sleeper sofas" were actually minuscule love seats and the queen beds in the bedroom were actually full sized.

Now, this normally wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that we were co-eding this cohabitation and since all relationships were to that point completely platonic this was proving to be kinda awkward. And since we were all taller than the national average, sleeping on a love seat was just not gonna happen unless we wanted our legs dangling perilously over the armrests. So what did we do? What any self-possesed group of young pretty people would do....we pushed the two fulls together in the bedroom and somehow voted one of us to be the poor bastard left sleeping in the crack (one bed was slightly higher than the other so this made the crack all the more comfortable...ha!).

Our first night there we arrived home after romping with celebs with beverages in hand and all five of us, two boys and three girls, dropped onto that makeshift raft of a bed and promptly passed out. No orgy ensued, nothing like that at all. Innocent and sweet we were. I know this sounds like fodder for some porn extravaganza but it truly was not.

I must point out that when there are FIVE of you in this type of sleeping accomodation being thin and/or attractive in no way means you have more room or are more comfortable. With five peeps in one bed you are gonna inadvertently end up listening to someone's nose whistle, snoring, or mumbling all night long.....or get rudely woken from a deep slumber by your bedmates RLS, flatulence or pool of drool that has somehow waterfalled off of their pillow and started lagooning right next to your face. But I must admit, all things considered, this would be the first and last time I would share a bed with 4 such gorgeous people at the same time.

They Like Booty in South Beach

2007-08-22T08:01:00.000-07:00

So, my ass was too Cuban for Tokyo, I went back to Portland where I shot an Intel commercial and a campaign for Brooks running shoes, packed my bags, got on a plane with Amber, got fed processed meat sticks, felt my eyes sting and water from the violently explosive flatulence of the guy sitting in the row in front of ours, arrived in Miami where booty is appreciated, had Jean-Paul meet us curbside, drove to our apartment at the Decoplage, met up with Ned, Paul and Kari...this was a very "Real World" a la MTV moment....and so Season Two in South Beach had begun.

That night we fought off all vestiges of tiredness and managed to go out. We partied with Rupert Everett at Touch, and kicked it at 320 with Rod Stewart, Sting, and one of us managed to drop a glass of alchohol on the floor (I think it was a gin & tonic) breaking it and splashing Kid Rock as he was exiting the building.

Yeah, once upon a time this was my life......

More on Tokyo and the Pity Party that Ensued

2007-08-15T17:08:00.000-07:00

Ah, yes....nothing like a little body image dilemma when you're a model......words from my travel journal (aka an invitation to my pity party)...

8/27

Sitting in Narita. This is all so fucking surreal. I have spent 7 days in Tokyo and now I am going back home. Total mind fuck. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. I had a great time with Debbie and Michelle yesterday. We walked the grounds of the Imperial Palace, rode the subways, got lost, went shopping at Harajaku and partied at Gas Panic and Lexington Queen with two of the boys from N'SYNC, experienced a minor earthquake this morning and now my trip is over. Whirlwind? I'm going home.

I really like Tokyo. It's a pristine city, beautiful in its modernity, full of brilliant and positive energy. The people are so nice. I'm glad I got to come even if for such a short amount of time. I just wish I could've stayed longer, to experience this place if nothing else. I amstill angry, sad, shocked about getting sent home without being given any benefit of the doubt. I feel insulted and hurt and cand see a serious body and food image issue starting to form in my psyche.

As soon as I found out I was leaving I binged on crazy amounts of food both healthy and not. And now I feel disgusting and fat. I'm paranoid to go to Q6 when I get back and have them think of me as fat and gross. I don't want to end up with some sick obsession. Why the hell did this happen?

Tokyo & My Big Cuban Ass

2007-08-10T18:00:00.000-07:00

My summer in Portland ended, I packed my bags, kissed my cats good-bye and headed back to the Land of the Rising Sun. I was high with wanderlust and ready to get on with my traveling....maybe a little too high. I got to Tokyo, fell in love with the city instantly, moved into my little high rise apartment with an incredible view of Roppongi, and met my roommate, yet another sweet as sugar Canadian girl. What could possibly go wrong? Well....let my journal entry answer that question for ya...

8/25

I am going home on Sunday. I was told by the agency that I am "too fat" to work in Tokyo. What the fuck? Me, fat. That's a first. I just wish I could've laughed when my booker measured my ass and told me that I had "too many butts". Yeah, I have an ass and they want me to remove it? My booker took me out for a drink to break the news to me. He said that I would never work in Tokyo unless I could lose 2 inches on my butt and hips in one week. I was reeling. I measured in at 34.5 inches. Totally normal, totally regulation measurement for the biz. I could lose half an inch easy......but TWO? In ONE week? So I'm going home. Oh my God. I haven't had 33 inch hips since before I hit puberty. Oh my God.

I didn't sleep last night, having been in total shock. So much bullshit and I lost a really good booking at home to be here. But I have to look at the bright side of this. I got a free side trip to Tokyo. Now I can say I've been here. Tomorrow I'll explore the city and then I'll go home.

This is why girls go anorexic. Now I know.

***************

That night I did what any good little model would do.......I went to Gas Panic and Lexington Queen and drank my huge Cuban ass off and got to watch Justin Timberlake making out with three rather young Brazilian models in the VIP of Lex. Arigato my friends......

Of Hiking in the Moonlight & Crushing on Fashion Editors...

2007-08-01T20:16:00.000-07:00

I have to say that the best job I've shot in Portland (fashion-wise) was for Ministry Magazine out of London that summer. The photographer happened to have grown up in Oregon and wanted to shoot a story up on Mt. Hood. I booked the job and this is how it went:

8/14

I worked Friday & Saturday with an amazing team. Finally, a real editorial shoot in Portland. We shot in the wilderness of Mt. Hood and the Columbia Gorge. Truly stunning. On Friday we finished so late that we ended up hiking down the mountain by the light of the moon. It was both terrifying and beautiful. The fashion editor of the magazine is only 22 and hilarious. He drove out to location with me in my car and had me in stitches the entire time. At one point we pulled over so that he could take a picture of a morbidly obese family to show his co-workers in London what an "American family" really looks like. He wants me to come to London.....I think I'm smitten.

(and then for some reason I tacked this quote to the end of the entry...)

"Close your eyes, that is the difference. Sometimes you can't believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel."

A shot from the editorial (yes, those were Burberry stilettos and everyone was freaking out that they would get wet in the stream...all this as I attempted to look like a fabulous wood nymph while balancing on 3 inch heels on a slippery, lichen covered rock. I love fashion.)

Portland Fashion

2007-07-28T14:25:00.000-07:00

So, I won't bore you with the rest of the details about my summer back in P-town, but here are a few examples of some of the work I did while back in Portland and Seattle. There really is a little market here, and I got lucky in that I got to work with some really great photographer's on jobs that were not locally-based....

Seattle Bride beauty editorial:

Evolition Hair Design campaign (aka the Cracked Out Geisha shoot)

Hiroshi shoot

experimental Portland test

Taipei or Tokyo? Tokyo or Taipei?

2007-07-19T19:00:00.000-07:00

Because nothing inspires journal entries as much as anxiety and depression (with rockstardom coming in at a close second) the so-called summer of my discontent inspired these:

7/16

I have such an amazing life! All I have to do is pick up the phone, tell my agencies where I want to go, & the next thing I know, I'm off, all expenses paid. This morning I talked to Heather. I turned down a contract in Tokyo with Folio to go back to Taipei, but I truly believe that was the wisest decision. I know I'll work in Taipei, I have my old clients there already, whereas Tokyo could be more of a gamble. In Taipei I'll get more editorial tears and get to room with Kari! I can't wait! I am so excited to go back to Taiwan & share the experiene with by best friend!

As for now, I have 4 weeks left in Portland. I have so much to do to get ready!!

7/17

Small worry. Taipei is worried about my hair. They don't like that it's still so short, they think I will work more if my hair is longer. This wasn't an issue when I was there last time! What the hell? Anyways, the verdict will be in tomorrow. Do I go to Taipei or to Tokyo? I know I'll do well in either market.....I just need to get there.

7/20

I am seriously going insane. I sit in my apartment alone all day reading or watching TV. My social life has gone from amazing the past 8 months to nonexistant now. I love my apartment, I love my cats, but I can't deal with how limited my interraction with other people has become. I can't deal with not knowing where I am going in 3 weeks. Still no word from Taipei about my hair & my contract. I'm losing it! I am missing my Milan posse so much right now.

7/24

I've been confirmed for Tokyo!!!!!! I leave August 20th or 21st. Thank you, God!

The Beginning of the Summer of My Discontent...

2007-07-16T10:19:00.000-07:00

So after this incredible year of traveling, modeling, making incredible friends and living like a veritable rockstar, I found myself back in Portland. In a way, it was good to be back. I thought a break from the "jet set" lifestyle would do me good and i could get back into reality, even though I was really kinda liking my alternate reality.

I rented a studio apartment in Portland's trendy Knob Hill neighborhood, two blocks away from NW 23rd Ave., and right behind Trader Joe's....this was good. It may not have been an ocean view apartment on South Beach or a flat in Milan, but it would do....and if you know about Trader Joe's, then you know what I mean. My apartment was, to date, one of my favorite places I've ever lived in. The building was built in 1929 and the management kept the place spotless and beautifully detailed with its original floors and tile work. It had a really great energy, a view of the woodsy West Hills, and was my tiny little haven where I spent hours reading and emailing my friends who were, as they are now, spread all over the world.

Coming back to Portland with a book full of Taiwanese, Miami and Milanese tears and tests, meant that my local agency and Seattle agency were going to be able to start lining up good bookings for me. I had a new comp made and I spent the next few months working for clients like Nike, the Bon Marche, Nordstrom, Meier & Frank, Fred Meyer, Brooks Athletics and other smaller clients. To make time pass in between bookings, and because I really had no friends left in town, I got a job at Urban Outfitters that I could walk to from my apartment. It was a fun environment to work in, my co-workers were great, and I got a discount on clothes....what more could a girl want?!

Besides being travel & friend sick, things were good. I was keeping busy and waiting to hear from my agency in Vancouver BC about when and where I would be going next. I was either headed back to Taipei or going to Tokyo. And while I was happy to go to either or both, finding out which one was gonna be "it" was a big deal. If I was getting a contract to Taipei, I'd have to go through the visa process in Seattle again, which is NOT fun.....basically you have to apply for a tourist visa and you work there illegaly, but the embassy in Seattle is super and I mean SUPER suspicious (at least it was then) and the thought of going through that process again was enough to give me heart palpitations.....and if I was going to Tokyo then I would have to make sure that I did not gain another quarter of a centimeter on my hips which were still at 34 1/2 inches. Hey....I had just come back from 8 months of eating Cuban food and Italian food.....it's a miracle my WAIST wasn't 34 1/2 inches!

So the waiting game had begun.....and so had the summer of my discontent.

Reminder Reminder Reminder, Yes!

2007-07-10T15:20:00.000-07:00

Wow. With that last post I made on here I realized that almost to the date my original journal entry was 6 years ago! Crazy. No wonder I feel like a wrinkled old geriatric prune.

If you are checking in for the very first time and allowing the Peacock to pluck your virginity.....this blog is my memoir.....accounts of my days on the road as a model. So for this to make any sense you gotta start at the beginning....archives are at the right somewhere....knock yourselves out!

;-)

Milan Travel Journal Part 7

2007-07-08T22:26:00.001-07:00

7/11

I'm on a plane back to the States. Mixed emotions. In a way I'm excited to go home, chill out, detox, make some money, make my body healthy again. But the most overpowering emotion is one of sadness. How do I keep myself from crying as I write this on a plane full of strangers?

My last few days in Milan I walked around in a daze. I was weighed down both body & soul with a sense of sadness that I could not shake. Then last night we all sat in Kari's room with only the soft glow of candles to allow us to see each other. We listened to sad music and bore our souls. This was good-bye.

Be strong, Morayma. I am leaving Milan...the city that became my home, that I know now better than I know Portland or LA. So beautiful it has become to me, so full of wonderful memories and the best of friends I have ever had. The best. Ned, Kari, Isaak, TIm, Paul, JP, Jackie, Sam, Mike, Muffin, Jeremy, Kerry, Jakob, Jonny, Jason, Eva, Fabienne, Sorrell...I can't imagine my life without them. My posse. My crew. I just pain at the thought of not seeing them everyday, this circle of friends.....

7/12

On a plane from Miami to Chicago now after my layover, and then back to Portland. So funny being back in the States. Nice in a way although I miss Milan & my friends insanely. I talked to Fabienne and Isaak yesterday from the aiport at DC. Kari wasn't home so Fabienne answered and then passed the phone to Isaak. They sounded so happy, and we joked for a few minutes before I had to board. Things are gonne be fine. I'll see these guys again.....life is good!

Being in Miami yesterday made me so excited for my season coming up in 3 1/2 months. I have a strong feeling that everyone will be there again. I know that Cormac and Neil will be back as well......Neil assured me of that over lunch at Principe di Savoia in Milan when he was passing through on business. Now I just need to convince everyone else to show up.....I already know Kari and Jackie will be game! JP will be there......We are going to have the most amazing season of our lives!

Ciao Bella Italia

2007-06-30T10:11:00.000-07:00

Leaving Milan, and Italy in general proved to be an assault on my senses. Not only was I missing people that I adored and who were the tightest knit friends I had ever had, but that city & that country had become something of an obsession to me....and still is.

The art, the architecture, food, language, hospitality, joie d'vivre, atmosphere, scenery, EVERYTHING about Italy was so beautiful, so completely and utterly pleasure filled, that coming back to the States with its depraved, boring, Puritanical esthetics, just made me nothing short of clinically depressed. Gone were the stately, ancient buildings, the hustle & bustle of the people who even when fighting sounded lyrical and operatic. Gone was the TRUE and most delicious cuisine of that nation....Pizza Hut be banned, and gone was the pure essence of living life to the fullest the Italians seem to have the ability to do from birth. La Dolce Vita indeed. It exists and I got a dose of it, enough to carry me through to another season, but not enough to keep me truly sated.

I think that the minute I got on my US bound flight at Malpensa Airport I started going through withdrawals. If nothing else I should have been in the fetal position in the plane bathroom withdrawing from my cold turkey sobering up from my gelato addiction. All I would have with me, to sustain me until the next time I was back in that blessed nation, would be my journal entries and my pictures. Memories and nothing more. Memories of the lazy days at the Parco, of the crazy nights at the clubs, of the endless castings, fun-filled bookings, of running into friends all over the city, being called "bella" carina" and any number of other terms of endearment that Italians are so fluent in.

Memories of things that could only and would only happen in a place like Milan, like when my friend Domenico, who I have known since we were both in diapers, and who had moved back to Italy when we were still kids, came to visit me and took me out to Mexican only to get stranded after a late meal with no taxis or public transportation running. We had to walk several miles down cobblestoned streets to get back to my apartment and I remember he must have though I was mad because of how fast I was walking....a complaint all of my friends have always had......I walk like a grayhound on meth....always have, don't know why....and how I felt even even worse because I couldn't let him upstairs into the apartment because my roommate was having "issues" and would have beheaded me for bringing over a guest. Crazy, beautiful memories.

And my friends......oh my friends. How on earth was I gonna go back to the States and then Tokyo without them? I was just gonna have to find out.

I Hope Karma Bites Her Hard

2007-06-26T11:37:00.000-07:00

My last week in Milan, Eva (my roommate), was summoned to Paris by her agency and was promptly replaced by an uber-bitch that had flown in from New York but was originally from Sweden. This humongous, Amazon of a woman went through my fridge and kitchen shelves the minute she got there and removed anything she deemed "unhealthy" without my permission or knowledge.

Gone was my overpriced jar of peanut butter, my coconut chocolates, Nutella and a few other items only to be replaced by some nasty barnacle looking crap and wheatgrass. This chick was obviously some health nazi of epic proportions. I bit my tongue since I wasn't planning to be at the apartment much my last week there....I had places to go and friends to hang out with after all.

The next thing I know, she moves one of her friends into the apartment without the agency's consent (or mine for that matter!). Her friend was another model who had been kicked out of her agency, Pepea Model Management, and rather than hit the airport she decided it would be a good idea to move in with us. This girl lay on the couch every minute I was home and never once asked if she could make room for me to sit and watch TV or read a book. She was obviously depressed at having been exiled from her agency and was such a source of bad energy in that tiny place that I really ended up only going home for showers and to catch a few hours of sleep at night. The Swedish bitch never once apologized or asked if it was cool that her friend stay with us, and since she was easily 6 feet tall and one of those "fit" swimwear/sportswear models who would have easily been able to snap my neck with her thumb & forefinger, I seethed inside & once again said nada.

On my last night in Milan, I hung out with all of my friends until dawn making it home at 4 am. I planned to shower and get 2 hours of rest before I would have to head to the airport and back to the States with my heavy heart in tow. I have to admit that I pride myself in the fact that I have always been a good & considerate roommate. I was quiet as a mouse when I got home, grabbed my stuff, took my shower, stepped over the homeless roommate's crap that lay strewn on the floor and got into bed only to have Scary Swede pant and heave and grumble that I was a party animal and what the hell was I doing out so late. I ignored her, fell asleep, woke up the designated 2 hours later, left my keys next to the phone as requested by my agency's accountant and left.

Since I was already so depressed about leaving this incredible city that I was 100% enamored with and the friends that had become my family here, I didn't think much about Scary until almost a year later when Patty (the agency owner) sent me a random email telling me that she was really upset that I would give my set of apartment keys to an Italian guy who apparently moved in after Scary & her leech moved out and made himself at home the entire month of August while the agency was closed & no models were in town. He was discovered by the cleaning lady who confronted him and had the keys thrown in her face by him shouting that a blonde girl with my name (hello, I am NOT blonde, never have been....but GUESS WHO WAS?! ) had given him the keys. That biotch from hell had passed my set of keys to God knows who and said she was me. Why on earth would anyone want or need to be so vengeful. I will never know. I let her toss out my food, move in a random chick and pretty much have the place to herself and this is what she thought was a cool way to "get me back".

And because she was in her early thirties and didn't ever party.....guess who the agency believed? A lot happened in between this trip to Milan and my second trip, so I won't give away too much about the second trip until we get to that point in the timeline, but suffice it to say that I went from the agency darling to someone the owner's looked at with a hint of suspicion. Not cool. I hope karma bites that chick in the ass someday....hard.

The D2 Party

2007-06-14T09:25:00.000-07:00

One of the very last parties of the season was the D2 (DSquared) party that was held afer their fashion show in Milan. Keep in mind, that because I am not a runway whore, I worked best in Milan during mens show season during which time I could work mainly in editorial, beauty and catalog print rather than have to worry about being 100 lbs and 5'10" like the show girls need to be during women's show season.

I guess you can say I got the best of both worlds, getting to model in Milan, EAT and party at all of the men's designers after show parties with my friends, many of which got be runway gods for the season. And I have to go off track for a second here to tell you how awesome the male fashion show casting horror stories were. There was nothing more hilarious and stomach turning than hearing Jeremy or Mike talk about waiting in line for hours only to be handed a very used, very, very used little man thong to change into for the likes of Gianfranco Ferre. Okay, the thought of having to wear something that has come into contact with the nether regions of hundreds of other guys is just plain wrong. Lucky are the boys who are first in line.....not so lucky is the last guy in line who gets to don a sweaty and skidmarked loincloth with very small odds for booking the job anyways. And they wonder why models have to drink so much.....

So....back on track....the D2 party that year was being heralded as something not to miss so of course, on the night of, we all jumped on the subway and headed out of city limits to rub shoulders with the who's who of Milanese couture. On the subway ride there Isaak performed a very sweet pole dance for everyone and Tim showed us his gymnastics skills on the handlebars. We egged Mike on to do a runway saunter down the middle of the train car but no matter how hard we tried, he wouldn't budge. I'm sure the fact that the car was full of passengers didn't help, or maybe we hadn't gotten enough vino into him, but it would have been hilarious had he succumbed to our peer pressure!

Once at the venue we walked around taking in the pools of water, sunken sitting areas and mirrored walls a la Studio 54. Young men clung on to the arms of old women, and old men for that matter, and the atmosphere was surreal and made me just want to sit back and observe. This wasn't the best party experience for us, but it was definitely the most movie set worthy. You honestly expected to walk around a corner and find a group of people having an orgy on one of the white leather divans that were placed everywhere (and, yes, surrounded by mirrors).

Towards the end of the night we somehow all ended up in a little VIP sitting area right next to the bar and one of the boys (not telling who because he is now a Canaian soap opera celeb and I am not Perez Hilton!!) grabbed a bottle of SoCo and Creme de Menthe from behind the bar without being seen and we passed these receptacles of alchoholic nastiness around until one of the crew (same one who bottle napped the liqour!) ended up falling backwards off of our table platform and onto the dancefloor with one of the bottles causing mass glass shardage and a few cuts on his modelly epidermis. Yeah, that was our signal to end the night. We left, went home, puked in toilets, passed out, met up for burgers & fries the next morning and realized that we'd all be leaving very very soon.

It's All in the Past, My Friends!

2007-06-12T07:54:00.000-07:00

Okay....so I am almost completely resettled and ready to start back up with my lst few weeks in Milan and my painful foray back to the land of the rising sun....but first I have to add a little sidenote to all the new readers of my blog.....

Peacocks on Leashes is a chronological recanting of my adventures as a fashion model. These stories are all things that have already happened , starting approximately six years ago. Eventually I'll get to the present day, but for now, everything you read is a look into my past.

To really get what I'm posting about you have to start from the very beginning which you can find in my archives (on the sidebar!) And I promise it's worth weeding through the archives.....

So, no, I am not currently in Milan, although I would LOVE to be. ;-) I still fantasize about moving my family to Italy someday.....but don't get me started on that one....that would fill a whole other blog....something about the Adventures of a Europhile.....LOL!

An Interruption.....

2007-05-29T11:55:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to drop in & let you all know that I'll be off-line and thus, not posting for the next week. We have a big house move in progress and once we are resettled and have an internet connection set up.....Peacocks will be back with the end of my first season in Milan and my venture to Tokyo.

Till then!

Alora...You 'Ave a Few Castings.....

2007-05-26T16:27:00.000-07:00

On a slow day.......

Milan Travel Journal Part 6

2007-05-26T16:14:00.000-07:00

6/08

Partied at Gasoline's last night for the summer. Kuba was hooking us up with shots of vodka, etc. I like him. He's a cool cat. We've hung out a few times after hours but just as friends, even though nowbody believes me. After rallying at Gasoline, Isaak, Tim, and Jeremy spent the night at my apartment all piled on the couch. Life rocks even though I feel like crap this morning. Nobody outside of this profession, this world I live in, could possibly understand it. I want to live forever!

It's A Salad In A Glass & Other Random Bits

2007-05-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

There are so many random moments that I remember from this season (and many of which I am sure to have forgotten) that I had to jot down those that still stand out but which are too inside-joke-esque to merit their own posts. I apologize if the following tidbits seem completely nonsensical, but those of you that were there with me.....I think you might enjoy your memories being jogged....

Towards the end of season our little group of friends started frequenting a spot called Bahnhof, aptly named as it was situated across the road from Milan's main train station, where every Thursday night (at least I think it was Thursdays!) we would be served a delicious dinner and drinks.....all free, of course. It was at Bahnhof that a couple of my friends got introduced by yours truly to Mojitos. I had to share this liquid delight with them, after all, I am half Cuban and had to represent. Isaak and Tim were quick to nickname this concoction a salad in a glass. After all, you get some greens, some citrus and of course some sugar cane all mixed together.....niiiiice liquid diet! Perfect fodder for a model hater.......I can just imagine the "mojito with a side of blow" jokes that will ensue from this one.....
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I think that I can attest to being a pretty good girl throughout my years as a traveling model with the exception of a few instances, always fueled by too much champagne or whatever was being served on that particular night. I never got "durrty" & my clothes always stayed on, but I do remember one naughty night hanging out in the VIP of Hollywood with one of my guy friends who will be called "N" for the rest of this story. I can't recall where the rest of our gang was, but here we were sitting at a random table being talked to by a swarthy, hairy guy wearing far too much gold (he would have looked at home chillin at the Badda Bing). He was obviously having some mid life crisis and was tittilated to have these two young models near him. For shits & giggles N and I told him we were brother and sister, and in reality we could have passed as such, only to start kissing spontaneously much to his perverted amusement. I can imagine he must have rung all his friends on his celly later that night to tell them he had just witnessed a live act of incest. Whatever rocks your boat, buddy.
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I remember hearing from Kari that Mikey was starting to date one of her roomates and how in a drunken state (be it alchohol drunk, love drunk, or a mix of both), he dove out of her bathroom window to avoid breaking apartment curfew, breaking the toilet seat in the process.

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Monday nights at Hollywood always served models with free pizza, drinks and an American movie. We never missed a Monday night there.....we were so spoiled, really. The best was hanging out all afternoon at Parco Sempione with a little spliff and arriving at the club blissfully sedate and ravenous for that cheese pie, then just laying back on the nasty vinyl couches we'd drag out of the VIP and watching a movie in our native tongue. Heaven.

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I always loved running into Jason on the subway in between castings.....he would never fail to invite me to hang out at the Parco with some friends for the rest of the afternoon. I usually declined, I was too goody-goody to miss out on my castings, but it was always so nice to know that I had friends that really wanted to hang out anytime, all the time. Nice to be reminded of that at random times during the day.

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Jackie and I became total Limoncello addicts that season. I remember walking to Old Fashion from my apartment on Paolo Sarpi with the drink in plastic cups and getting giddy and swearing to God that our skin was feeling oddly warm......anybody know if Limoncello really does that?

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It never failed that after a long night out we would all convene by the Duomo to eat Burger King (hangover food!) and catch each other up on the previous night's adventures. During one of these feeding frenzies we found out that Muffin had ended up passing out on a park bench with his wallet right next to head....miracle of miracles that it wasn't lifted! Also heard that another of our boys had ended up making his way into someone's backyard and spent the night sleeping on a trampoline. I always made it home, thank God, but did spend far too many nights swearing I would never drink again as I prostrated myself in front of the toilet....and once the bathtub. Thank God, my roommate was as big of a mess as I was!

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Then there were the simple hours spent just sitting at a cafe drinking capos and eating insalatones while people watching and wondering if life could possibly get any better.

So, what can you take away from these random bits? Yeah, we partied hard, but we always stuck together thus avoiding any potentially dangerous situations. Three girls and a dozen guys, give or take a couple, always meant that no other men dared break into our group. Jackie, Kari and I were safe to be rockstars. Our friends were the best bodyguards a girl could ever want. Leaving Milan was really gonna hurt.

The Kiss

2007-05-22T12:05:00.001-07:00

Everyone has had a a "moment" with another person that pretty much becomes indelible in their memory bank. Be it because it was particularly meaningful, romantic, crazy or fun, these moments tend to pop up at random and make you smile, or, if you are unlucky, cringe. I wasn't unlucky with my "moment"...not at all.

During this season in Milan, I had developed a crush on one of the C-9 Killahs, but we remained nothing but friends, if not with a little extra chemistry. It was fun and totally harmless and unreciprocated until one of the last nights we all hung at Old Fashion together.

To make a long story short, this night in particular, one of Ale's friends was going nuts with the passing around of alchohol at our table. We had baskets of lychee fruits to eat and throw at each other (totally random) and glasses of vodka and juice that never emptied no matter how feverishly we were downing them. The club was over crowded that night with the "non-models" on one side of a fence dancing & looking over at all of us in the VIP as if we were in a zoo....and maybe we should have been.

We were all hanging out and having a very socially lubricated time, trying hard not to think about the fact that we would be leaving Milan in a matter of weeks, if not days, when my crush (who has asked me to call him Golden Arms in order to keep his anonymity) started feeding me lychee fruits. I knew we were in trouble at this moment because this would be one of the last opportunities I would get to seize the moment. At some point Golden ended up sitting on a chair backed up against the fence that separated the VIPS from the normies and Lady Alchohol lead me straight onto his lap, straddled, total stripper move and we started making out.

I have to say that what makes this moment a "moment" is that this kiss had ben anticipated for months, not just by me, but apparently by all of our friends seeing as the minute lips locked all of them started applauding and cheering us on and Barbara started snapping shots as if she were the papparazzi and we were Brad and Angelina. A total "moment".

Nothing else happened after that instance, but the rest of our crew didn't let us live it down the rest of season. To this day I am still completely mortified that I sat on him like I did....totally uncouth and unladylike, but was it fun? Absolutely.

High Fashion Editorial Pics from Milan

2007-05-18T10:38:00.000-07:00

How could I not share some of these incredible, cutting edge editorial shots from Milan? Ellen von Unwerth, eat your heart out. These pics belong in Italian Vogue without question.

Walking in flip flops in Milan is not only comfortable but provides you with a delicious antipasto of grime for a quick snack between castings:

Tim models a fabulous fruit chopstick hair ensemble created by himself during a moment of intense inspiration at Old Fashion:

Ah yes, I finally found the land in which cars are miniscule whilst city maps are large enough to provide shelter to the inhabitants of a small nation:

Kari (otherwise known as "Legs") shows off an haute couture ensemble found in Fabienne's closet (otherwise known as the floor):

After finding a somewhat dirty linen napkin on the floor of Louisiana, Isaak commences to design a lovely Edwardian inspired cravat for himself. Project Runway, your new star is born:

Peacocks On Leashes???

2007-05-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

So.....many of you have been wondering from blog entry number one what on earth Peacocks on Leashes means. Is it some kinky S & M practice? A form of animal abuse as of yet gone unnoticed by the members of PETA? The name of a rock band or nightclub? Nope. None of the above.

I had actually forgotten all about peacocks being leashed until last summer when my friend Isaak (yes one of the infamous C-9 Killahs) was passing through Portland and paid me a visit. I was telling him that I wanted to write a book about my adventures as a model and when he asked what the title would be, I drew a blank. Then he offered up "Peacocks On Leashes", and thus this blog was born.

See, the reason Isaak brought up that name, and the reason I decided to use it is because it brings back some crazy, crazy memories of an even more insane night we spent with our crew in Milan. We had at this point been going to many parties on a weekly basis. Basically, if you didn't have a booking the next day, you would be out partying that night. It's just part of the lifetsyle, and when you are a bunch of pretty young things, playing hard is just de rigeour. Every night brought about one awesome experience or another, but the night that brought about my blog's title belongs in a short film on the Sundance channel, seriously.

Ale, who set up our tables at Old Fashion every week, had sold us earlier in the week on a party that would be taking place in the outskirts of Milan at another outdoor venue. There was supposed to be a cornucopia of free libations as well as performing drag queens of the Brazilian variety (many of which could give Giselle Bundchen a run for her money), a red carpet to greet us and peacocks being walked on leashes.....yes, PEACOCKS ON FREAKIN' LEASHES! This sounded too Alice in Wonderland good to pass up, so we all memorized the date and when the night of the fete arrived we were rarin to go.

The club, called Spider (or Spyder...can't remember the spelling....ooops!) proved to be rather elusive. After piling into cabs to get to the club which if memory serves me correctly was about 30 minutes outside of town, we were dropped off at some random and very dark building surrounded by nothing. Needless to say this wasn't the correct location and before we knew what was going on the cabs had disappeared leaving us stranded.

After much discussion and confusion, someone decided to lead the pack in search of Spider and our, by then, much needed drinks. I'm not sure if this someone was Jeremy or Kuba, but whoever it was took us on a hairy journey through a pitch black forest and alongside of a very narrow highway where trucks and cars where flying by at Autobahn velocity. We walked in a single file line literally feeling the wind blow on us as each speeding vehicle passed us. After walking through a field listening with growing annoyance to Fabienne's cousin (who we later found out worked as a call girl) bitch & moan about her stilettos getting stuck in the mud with every step we took in order to get Kuba to pick her up or grab her ass or whatever, we arrived at Spider.

After being deserted by our cabbies and practically losing our lives on the side of an Italian freeway, we were greeted by....No red carpet, trannies in need of more estrogen therapy, ONE drink ticket, and by God, not a single peacock on a leash. Not even a rat terrier on a leash for that matter. Niente. Kari, Jackie and I got our Vodka Red Bulls and went up to our designated table where the boys were already nursing their alchohol and where eventually someone thrust an enormous plate of fruit on the table for us to eat. We did some damage to that fruit, listened to too much awful Euro pop and then headed home. Peacocks on Leashes, indeed. If Ashton Kutcher had been out of grade school and wooing Hollywood at that time, I would have thought we were definitely being Punk'd.

We never left the Milan city limits for a party again...excpet for the D2 party at the very end of season....which once again proved that out of town just means trouble.

Macy Gray Goes Well With Candlelight

2007-05-15T11:39:00.000-07:00

Partying wasn't the only thing my friends in Milan and I did well together during our time off. Some of my fondest memories of my friends involve laying around in Kari's room listening to Macy Gray in the soft glow of the candles we would always light.....warm, Milanese breeze blowing through the open windows, sounds of people walking by and train cars in the distance. It would be the usual crew of Mikey, Isaak, Jeremy, Timmy, Kari, Jackie and I, just sitting there in silence, basking in our friendship which didn't always entail having to be raucous or in full blown conversations. I also remember sitting in the courtyard of C-1 with Ned, Jason, JP, Kerry, Sammy, and Paul watching them play chess or just getting lost in quiet dialogues about life outside of Milan and modeling, about our pasts and what the heck we were going to do in the future, and often we would just sit not saying anything at all. Great friends can sit in the quiet and not feel awkward.....these were great friends.

I'll never know what everyone was thinking during these magic, silent moments.....but I remember always feeling both elated and sad. Elated to be with these amazing people that I cared about and loved so much, and saddened by the knowledge that it was just a matter of time before we would all be dispersed into the world again. End of season would be upon us brutally soon.

I still get heavy hearted when I think about these times. It isn't fair to make such good friends and such strong memories with them only to never all be in the same place again.....although I did end up traveling for four more years with most of these cats after this first season in Milan, life inevitably picked us all up and dropped us in different places to "grow up" and step into reality. School, corporate jobs, marriage, socially conscious travels to the Third World......we are all now worlds apart, but not a day goes by that I don't think about my crew. The parties were fun, but this deep kinship we all developed in candlelight to the soundtrack of our season is what will always remain ingrained in my memories and what will never need pictures for me to be able to remember them.

Liam Neeson & Fabienne's Fabulous Vitamin E

2007-05-09T16:00:00.000-07:00

For a while during season, Kari had this outrageously crazy model roommate from Switzerland named Fabienne. She was completely wild which made her fun to party with, but not so fun to live with. The girl would take Kari's underwear off of the drying rack (Euro apartments seldom come equipped with dryers) and use them then leave them lying around soiled. Awesome. But what the girl lacked in roommate couth, she made up for in her smuggling abilities.

There was one night in particular that comes to mind when I think about Fabienne. She had just come back from a trip to Amsterdam with a bundle of pharmaceuticals stashed away in her Kodak Cool Pix, or whatever those annoying little cameras were called, and was itching to share her stash with her friends. Kari, the Canadians and I were all over at Kari's apartment getting ready to go to the weekly party at Old Fashion Cafe when Fabienne traipses in and starts handing out what we liked to call Vitamin E. Some of us were newbies and some were seasoned trippers, but either way we all quickly came to the conclusion that this girl had undoubtedly brought the goods...and I mean good goods.

I like to think that my first experience with this mood enhancer was as good as it was because of the company I was with, but I do think that the Dutch have a bit more panosh as it were when it comes to producing quality recreational tablets. Whatever the reason, be it friends or ingredients or a combination of both, this night was one of the best and strangest in my life.

After taking our vitamins we all gathered outside Kari's apartment to wait for her friend Jacob to join us before heading to the club. As we waited, things started to kick in and one by one pupils started dilating, backs starting getting rubbed on whatever was near, lamposts, trees, anything was fair game and hands were being held, squeezed and tickled. I don't know if I can really describe what I felt in any other way than sheer bliss and lightheartedness. I felt like a child, giddy, joyful and with a mass of butterflies in my stomach. We ran like kids to the bus stop, boarded the bus and commenced to roll (pun definitely intended, my friends) to Old Fashion.

I remember passing the Castello at Parco Sempione and seeing the fountain lit up and just being in awe of how magical and ethereal everything looked. I remember looking around at all of my friends and being completely in love with all of them and with my life at that moment. I remember wanting to shout out how happy I was with a feeling like my heart was about to burst.

We arrived at Old Fashion, were immediately escorted to the VIP where Ale had reserved a table for us overlooking the dancefloor, and that's when things took a turn for the surreal. After getting to our table and pouring the first few rounds of drinks we looked over to the left only to see Liam Neeson walking to the dance floor with an Italian girl, followed seconds later by Julia Stiles who was not shy in giving the models around her dirty looks. To top it off, at the table directly across from ours, Kevin of the Backstreet Boys was sitting spread eagle and sending his bodyguards over to bring models back to his table....and the models he was pointing out were all obviously underaged. Nice. So....we all sat there, starry eyed (or glazed over, whichever you prefer) and watched this random grouping of celebs party the night away as we gave each other neck rubs and held hands.

Later that night we got the itch to leave and headed to Hollywood. I think we actually walked there but I could be wrong. Our group somehow split up and I made the journey there with Fabienne, Marcus and Isaak only to be greeted by a running Kari once we were half a block away from the club. She was yelling that Linley was in the VIP with a look of total shock on her face and of course the shock quickly spread to me....Linley! Our friend from Miami? How on earth could he be in a club in Milan? We ran back into the club hand in hand and there he was....our boy from the beach! He had come over to visit his model girlfriend and had no idea we were there as well. Now this would be a surprise sober, but can you imagine how amazing it was to be reunited with a friend on a totally different continent than the one you last saw them in while totally mood enhanced? It was great, I ain't gonna lie.

The next day I felt like I had had a spinal tap, but there was no pain great enough to make me regret that night. It was magic. I am not in any way condoning the use of pharmaceuticals...so let me clarify that one before I get crucified....but I did have one hell of an amazing trip....and I know I was lucky. Nothing afer that ever came close to comparing.

Fabienne, Newton (who prefers to remain incog), me and Marcus on our way to Hollywood. Someone took a random polaroid of us.....forever capturing our strung out essence.