Schizo Modeling

After a few days of acclimating to our new home (which in South Beach means going out, sunbathing, and people watching) for a few days we all took off to meet up with our respective agencies. When I walked into the Elite offices I was greeted by everyone at the booking table and given a bear hug by Cap, the director. I loved Cap. She was a no holds barred, mama bear type. If she loved you she would tell you so and if you pissed her off, same deal.

Well, after Cap and the other bookers decided on a new comp for me for the season, she turned to me and sized me up sighing "if only you were 5'9" " (believe me, that was my wish too) and then with a pat on the butt told me I was getting too skinny and to stop losing weight and get a tan. Okay, cool. That was not going to be a problem. Good food is everywhere in Miami and I was gonna partake of it with relish. Sunbathing being added to my "to do" list was also not going to be a problem. But her comment was hilarious in that just a couple of months prior I was booted out of the Land of the Rising Sun for being too corpulent...and I was actually a few pounds lighter when I was in Tokyo!

So let's do a quick recap on my thus far schizo modeling experiences:

1. Taiwan season 1 : Skin too dark. Hair not short enough...please make more funky-style.
2. Osaka: Skin too dark. Hair too short, but okay. Too skinny for some clients.
3. Miami season 1 at Karin Model Mgmt.: Too pale, get a tan. Cut hair shorter. At Elite Model Mgmt.: Nice skin tone, grow your hair out please.
4. Milan (official) season 1: Hips are fine but don't gain any weight. Un tan bellissimo! Grow your hair out very long. With long hair you will work every day. (I worked 3-4 times a week with short hair, thank you.)
5.Tokyo: Too fat, go home.
6. Miami season 2: Get a tan, don't lose any more weight! (No mention about the hair this time, but I was bound & determined to grow it out and was praying they wouldn't book me for Schwarzkopf again this season.)

Yeah....and I couldn't wait to hear what the next market I was going to after Miami was going to want me to look like.

Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder....it just sucks when the beholders all want you to look different.

More Travel Journal Exhibitionism

And even though I was fully submerged into the magic of what was life as a traveling fashion model....apparently I was still very much on a soul search. Here's an entry from my travel journal from Miami Season 2:

11/27

I keep thinking how funny it is that I haven't written sooner. I've been in South Beach for a little over 2 weeks now. The paradise I've been dreaming of returning to for the past 8 months....now I'm back and I can't help but feel unsettled. The apartment is nice, I love my roommates...Kari, Ned, Amber and Paul...my little family. I've shot 2 editorials for Spanish Maxim and the cover of Irish Tattler. Three jobs in week and half, not bad, but as always, I am allowing myself to worry too much...money, work, castings, the usual.

I'm really thinking about changing my life plan in the next 12 months. Living out of a suitcase is growing far too difficult for me. I love traveling, but I am feeling the need to establish some sort of permanence in my life. I want to travel for one more year then move back to LA where I can work and live....the best of both worlds. And maybe then I'll find my other half.

(I then commence to wax & wane poetic about how ready I am to fall in love but don't want to get hurt and haven't found anyone...yadda yadda yadda...won't bore you to tears with the mushy girly bullshit.)

And then at the end of the entry I had these two quotes which I am totally diggin on again now that I've rediscovered them:



"So, every time 'they' tell you all the logical reasons why things can't be done, remember all the times 'they' have been wrong." -Bank of America commercial

"I'm never alone/I'm alone all the time" -Gavin Rossdale of Bush