The sea breezes and sunshine definitely made for some introspective moments during this particular season in Miami. Here are some musings from a model mind while waxing & waning philosophical:
12/29
We think ourselves to be so grandiose. In our own eyes our lives seem to be the center of the Universe. Everything revolving around us, when in fact we are merely an infinitesimal speck in the grand scheme of things. Our impact on the world, with the exception of a few astounding individuals, is so minor that if we were to disappear tomorrow, everything would continue on as usual...the earth would continue to pulse, grow, nourish all those still existing on her surface. We would be a mere memory in the minds of the few we allowed into our guarded worlds while we were still gifted with the breath of life.
12/30
The year 2000 is almost over. The first year I learned to truly live, to come alive. The memories of the past 12 months overwhelm me. How much have I changed, I wonder? Am I a better person? Worse? Perhaps both? I won't attempt to seek an answer to these questions. You can only dig so deep into your psyche before uncovering strains of madness. Whatever, whoever I am or have become, needs to learn to grow more comfortable in her own skin. Comfortable in my own skin...I wonder, does anyone truly, wholly, learn to do that? One is always growing, expanding...can you harness your spirit to flesh? Perhaps what I need to do is take comfort in knowing that I will never truly know myself.
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Yeah.....models can get pretty deep. Funny how you never see or hear any talk about this kind of stuff on any of the modeling reality shows that are taking over TV. Modeling makes you realize how insecure you really are. It hands you a life of glamour and luxury, breaks you down to nothing, hands you some more glamour, breaks you down again, then takes you back up to incredible heights. Roller coaster ride. Welcome to Model Mountain. Keep your arms and legs in the car at all times. You'll need them to book work.
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