Love Hotels, Yakuzas, & Okonomiyaki, Oh My!

Where do I start in my description of Osaka? Well, since I had already been to Asia for my contract in Taiwan, it wasn't the culture shock that my initial trip had been. By then I was well versed in incessant traffic, neon light advertising, and throngs of people on the streets at all hours of the day and night. Let me just put it this way....no matter where in Asia I have been, every city is very much awake & alive and I loved the energy.

Neon lit advertising by our apartment:



Osaka is significantly smaller than Tokyo, but it is still a bustling metropolis in its own right. It is divided into sections much like NYC is divided into burrows, and I was happy to find out that my apartment would be in Nippombashi which is a section of town full of shopping & dining arcades.

Once I arrived at the agency from the airport, I was driven to my new home by my manager. It was a tiny three bedroom apartment that I would be sharing with two other girls. Amanda from Canada and Karen from Brazil. There were two other apartments in the building designated for female models and around the block was the building where the male models had their digs.

Now when I say my apartment was tiny, I mean it was miniscule.....and that includes the furniture. I still remember the couch...it was a little, black fold out number that you had to seriously squat down to sit on. Basically it had no legs....picture a futon couch without a frame. The coffee table was of course sitting on one inch legs and our kitchen was pretty much comprised of a dorm style fridge and a microwave.....tiny....although I must say it had an unusually large sink!

Our bathroom was in miniature too and every time one of us took a shower the entire bathroom floor would become inundated. The toilet was in a seperate little closet and had music that would play and a little sink on top of the tank that would start running water as soon as you flushed. I swear to you, that we were living in a doll's house. It was hilarious. And when I say that the apartment had three bedrooms, you may find yourself wondering how it could possibly be so small.....well, believe me, it was small. Three bedrooms in Japan is a far cry from three bedrooms in the States. By bedrooms, I mean sliding shoji doors that opened onto your bed, a small clothes rack and that's it. Since Karen had arrived several weeks before Amanda and I, she had taken over the "large" bedroom which included a foot of space between her door and her bed, as well as a bookcase. Lucky girl.

I was really fortunate in that I arrived into town on a Friday evening, because we had the next two days off and Karen was kind enough to take me on a tour of our new hood. And let me tell you....getting to know my new neighborhood was one hell of an experience. As we were leaving the apartment on Saturday morning, Karen told me to watch for the shiny black towncars that would cruise around the streets in our area. And lo and behold, there were several, all driving slowly, and once in a while stopping to let out a finely dressed Japanese man in black suit & white scarf. Who were these cats? I came to find out that they were members of the Yakuza...yup, the Japanese mafia. They apparently patrolled the streets of our neighborhood since many of them supposedly had girlfriends (not models, let me clarify on that one!) that lived in the area. This all sounds more daunting than it was. They were always polite, and according to locals, they kept the peace in the neighborhood. Basically, nobody dared cause trouble on their turf, and I wasn't about to show off my Shaolin skills with them.

The other eye opener was the plethora of kitschy buildings that dotted not only our neighborhood, but pretty much every other section of town....and when I say kitsch, I mean KITSCH! I am talking about several storied buildings with loud themes like Santa Land, Paris at Night, the Moulin Rouge, Space Adventures......you name it. And you wanna know what these buildings were? No, not video arcades or restaurants. Nope....not day-care centers or specialty stores. They were Love Hotels. So, what is a love hotel? I asked the same thing, and came to find out the tittilating truth behind them. In Japan, love hotels are pretty popular joints where you can go and rent a room for an overnight stay or for an hour's "rest". They are not brothels since you are expected to bring your own date....and these places don't just cater to the depraved, hooker hiring types (although I am sure those can be found renting rooms there as well) but are hugely popular among married couples. Basically, you can pick out a hotel that caters to your fantasy of the day, you rent a room, and get some nookie while pretending to be Old St. Nick, a martian, a mermaid, or the King of France. The closest one to our apartment was the Santa/Christmas Fantasy Land. It always put a smile on my face when I walked by it to get to the subway. To this day I wonder what the heck the rooms must've looked like!

Sexy Santas please apply within:



Hotel 69.....wonder what they meant?




Then there was the little restaurant next door to our apartment. Oh my God. Their specialty was the Osakan main dish....Okonomiyaki. I still salivate just thinking about it, and even though I really can't fully describe it to you....let's just say it's something of a Japanese omelet. Sheer gastronomical bliss. I discovered that place my first night in Osaka....just followed my nose to it really. And by the grace of God, didn't turn into a heifer or need an emergency angioplasty by the end of my stay from eating that grease soaked deliciousness.

Ok, so enough of the geography of my apartment's immediate vicinity.....Monday would bring the real start to my trip...and I would be thrown head first into the world of Japanese CHEESE....and I don't mean the edible kind.